意識凝形 白舒婷人造纖維創作論述

筆者回望過去自身躊躇不前的原因，來自於面對他人評價的恐懼。因為過度追求社會期待中的完美而感到失落與焦慮，久而久之便迷失在他人標準之中，遺忘自身的需求。因此筆者希望穿越這些被評斷的表象，觀看到人的真實。藉由發覺人的核心，確立每個人有擁有自身存在的意義，且無須他人證明其存在的價值。筆者透過哲學與心理學中對於「意識」與「存在」的相關討論，了解意識之於人類的重要性，以及焦慮與虛無的感受皆是個體存在的印證。形式上，也藉由纖維藝術、軟雕塑以及當代身體首飾的探討，了解軟性的編織物件在不同展示方式中所傳達的語彙。在本創作論述中，筆者將意識比擬為水分子般的存在，藉由勾針技法編織出如水氣凝結成的雲體，將抽象的「意識」具象化。最後筆者以兩個系列作品作為呈現，「意識凝形」系列為五件懸掛的軟雕塑作品，探討筆者自我意識的形象；「意識顯像」系列為十六件身體首飾作品，描述意識活動的樣貌。筆者在創作過程中隨著身體與意識的融合，體悟意識的每一步「選擇」都是建構自我生命的重要部分。與其為他人的期待感到焦慮，更應該投入當下自己的選擇，肯定每一刻裡持續堅持的自己。

關鍵字

意識；凝形；纖維藝術

並列摘要

I looked back on the reasons contributing to my fear, which came from the fear of being judged by others. I felt lost and anxious because of the excessive pursuit of socially-prescribed perfectionism. In time, I became so lost in standards set by others that I forgot my own needs. Therefore, I hoped to go beyond these judged appearances to observe personal truths. By discovering their personal core, everyone can validate their own existential significance, without the need for others to prove the value of their existence. Through philosophical and psychological discussions on “consciousness” and “existence”, I gained insight into the importance of human consciousness, and that feelings of anxiety and nothingness serve as proof of the individual’s existence. In terms of form, through explorations of fiber art, soft sculpture, and contemporary body jewelry, I studied the different vocabularies conveyed when woven objects are exhibited in different ways. In this creative plan, I compare consciousness to the existence of water molecules. Through the crochet technique, I wove the shape of a cloud, after the water vapor has condensed and concentrated, thereby concretizing abstract “consciousness”. Finally, I presented two series of works: The “Concentration of Consciousness” series, five hanging soft sculptures to explore images of my self-consciousness; and the “Consciousness Visualization” series, 16 pieces of body jewelry that describe the face of consciousness during physical action. Through the integration of body and mind during the creative process, I realized that every choice that the consciousness makes is an important part of how one’s own life is constructed. I also learned that instead of feeing anxious about others’ expectations, I should invest more in my own choices and affirm the persistence of my self at every moment.