摘要
本論文由筆者自身過往創傷經驗切入，透過創作探索、提問和梳理自己。這是追尋自己的過程，也是告別過去沈溺於創傷的自己的一場儀式。本論文分為五個章節：第一章緒論講述筆者進入應用藝術所的起源，並於創作中發現自己未曾和自己連結、溝通和共處，導致自身與世界的脫節感。接著，由於創作發想起點為「海洋」，筆者文獻回顧兩部電影作品，分別為紀錄片《海女：比海還深》以及電影《碧海藍天》，以明晰畢業創作的方向。第二章創作脈絡筆者爬梳自己過往三年的創作概念，詳述筆者創作前後的心境轉變，並串聯創作概念。第三章創作自述——《一場告別式》闡述此系列創作原初概念，並紀錄完整創作過程，最終因徹底認知和承認創傷之於自身的關係，筆者放下背負多年的重擔，而在告別傷痛和過去後，輕盈向未來邁開步伐。第四章《Default》展覽——佈展現場說明二〇一九年交大應藝所師生聯展佈展過程中遭遇的限制，並詳述如何因地制宜，微調作品的裝置方式來因應展場的限制。此外，本章也紀錄開展後與觀者互動所獲得的回饋，並針對本次展出的不足提出優化計劃。第五章結語筆者反思自身創作過程，並在反思「自身與自身」以及「自身與世界」的連結後，重新釐清自己的定位。此刻，筆者立基於距離自己一單位的地方，將繼續進行、延伸的未來創作是互動裝置《復活計畫》與紀錄片《追尋．後》。
並列摘要
This thesis discusses the author’s traumatic memories, and by art making, the author had the chance to go through self-questioning and self-discovery, which eventually led to self-healing. This was not only a process of finding herself, but also a ceremony of saying goodbye to her past self whose mind was occupied with sorrowful memories. The thesis is divided into five chapters, which are organized as follows. The first chapter describes how the author stepped into the Institute of Applied Arts and acknowledged the reason that she had always felt disconnected to the world was that she never actually connected to herself. With “the sea” being the core of the final project, Farewell Party, the author cultivated her ideas of artwork through two films, “Ama-San” and “Le Grand Bleu.” The second chapter goes through the author’s art works within the past three years, elaborating the change of the authors mind before and after her art works, and highlighting the strong relationship among them. Chapter three reveals the main concept of Farewell Party and records the whole creating process, demonstrating the author’s acceptation toward her pains and sorrows, successfully leaving the past behind and taking a step into a much brighter future. Chapter four narrates the difficulties which the author encountered at the exhibition “Default,” the 2019 joint exhibition held by teachers and students of the Institute of Applied Arts of National Chiao Tung University. Art works were modified to adapt to the limitations of the exhibition hall. Reviews were collected from the visitors, and an optimized plan to improve the short come of the exhibition is proposed. The final chapter concludes the author’s self-reflection toward her creating progress, and after recognizing the connection between “the author and herself” and “the author and the world,” she redefined her position. The author will continue her future art making through interaction device “Resurrection Plan” and the documentary “Pro-Pursue.”