凝視生活世界的獨白－論七等生《重回沙河》的鄉土

或謂七等生在早期小說裡，「局外人」的原型意象，成為其作品的一個重要意義符號。但是到了《重回沙河》（1986）則又以敘事者「我」的第一人稱現身。對此，筆者以為不論是「局外人」意象或「我」的敘事者都是其書寫形式考量所致；或這樣說，七等生經常以「獨白」敘事，在作品裡發言、闡述事理；藉此，與讀者、世界對話，《我愛黑眼珠》（1976）如此，《重回沙河》（1986）如此，《我愛黑眼珠續記》（1988）亦是如此。此理誠如沙特在《什麼是文學？》（1947）所論可知，即使「獨白」，七等生的書寫仍是對生活世界的知覺、體悟，縱使敘事局外、疏離。但七等生仍言：「我是為了我非要不可的欲意而寫作。」然則在「非要不可的欲意而寫作」的生涯中，七等生在1980年，四十一歲這一年仍遭逢「轉折點」，「決定暫時停筆撰寫小說」；隔年「個人遷居至坪頂山畔，研習攝影與暗房工作、撰寫生活札記」。而後1986年8月間舉辦其首次攝影個展「重回沙河」，同時也由臺北遠景出版公司出版《重回沙河》。由今觀之，《重回沙河》不僅仍多以「獨白」書寫；而且七等生對「生活世界」深刻的知覺、體悟，在札記敘事中處處可見。因此，從整個寫作生涯來看，七等生於1980年的寫作「轉折點」，與其說是「寫作瓶頸」，不如說是重新知覺、斟酌其寫作目的的契機。因此，本文將擇其攝影作品及其相應的札記敘事做分析，驗證《重回沙河》中所知覺的「生活世界」敘事、反省。最後，本文將此「生活世界」歸於「鄉土」意象來理解，指出其批判、近似於波特萊爾「變化無常、轉瞬即逝」的現代況味。其次，將之置回狂飆的1980年代來看，七等生《重回沙河》的「鄉土」早已萌發其社會體驗與寫實關懷。

關鍵字

獨白；知覺；敘事；生活世界；鄉土

並列摘要

It's said that in early stage of Chi-Deng-Sheng's novel, the protopye of ＂Outsider＂ becomes an important and meaningful symbol of his masterpieces. In ＂Return To The River＂《重回沙河》(1986), however, he used ＂I＂ as first person to tell the story. For this difference, I thought the author used the image of ＂Outsider＂ or ＂I＂ as a narrator as forms of writing. Or, we may say that Chi-Deng-Sheng usually used ＂Monologue＂ to recount the story, and by making the speech and elaborating the matter to converse with his readers and the world. We may see the same method in ＂I Love Black Eyeballs＂《我愛黑眼珠》(1976), ＂Return To The River＂《重回沙河》(1986), and ＂I Love Black Eyeballs - Sequel＂《我愛黑眼珠續記》(1988). We may also trace the same method in Jea-Paul Sarte's ＂What is Literature?＂《什麼是文學？》(1947), and even by using ＂Monologue,＂ Chi-Deng-Sheng's writings still can feel and realize the living world, even though his character acted like outsiders and distant. Chi-Deng-Sheng also claimed that, ＂I wrote because of my got-to-have desire,＂ but, in the career of his got-to-have-desired writing, in 1980, when he was 41-year-old, a turning point came to him, then, he made the decision to lay down his pen for a while. In the following year, ‘he moved up to the mountain top. There, he worked on photography, film development, and taking life notes.' In Aug., 1986, he held his first photographic exhibition - ＂Return To The River,＂ which was also published by Taipei Vista Publishing. Looking back from today, ＂Return To The River＂ was not only written with ＂Monologue,＂ but also demonstrated his realization of the ＂Living World, as we can see in his narrative. Therefore, from his entire writing career, if we focused on Chi-Deng-Sheng's writing turning point in 1980, rather than saying ＂Writing bottle-neck,＂ we may say it's an opportunity to re-feel and weigh the purpose of writing. Thus, this article is going to analyze his photography and its story behind, in addition, we would also like to prove to you the perception of ＂Living World＂ in ＂Return To The River.＂ Lastly, we interpret ＂Living World＂ into ＂Grass-roots,＂ and we also compare its criticism to Charles Pierre Baudelaire's changeable and fleeting writing. Moreover, if we look back on 1980s, we may notice that Chi-Deng-Sheng's ＂Grass-roots＂ has spreaded social experience and caring seeds from ＂Return To The River.＂