離家、回家:一條來來回回的成長之路

這篇自我敘說的背景是一位大陸已婚有子的近中年女性在台灣學習諮商專業的過程。故事伊始,敘說者因與母親衝突、情感失落而決定離家,踏上追求獨立自我之旅。敘說者在台灣諮商專業的受訓過程中,不斷產生新的學習經驗、人際關係及種種感悟、感觸。這些經驗也不斷促進著敘說者與母親反復的分化與連結。歷經敘說的探索,敘說者也逐漸發現父親對母女關係、對自我「隱而未現」的影響。敘說者歷經在生活中、在敘說中重新與父母產生連結的行動,逐漸看見、理解生命中的重要他人,並對於自我的追尋產生新的理解。至此,離家與回家,不再是一次行動、一個選擇,而成為一條向遠方延伸, 也向內在紥根的來來回回的成長之路。

關鍵字

自我敘說；分化；連結；三角關係；關係中自我

並列摘要

The background of this self-narrative is about a married middle-aged woman with a son in mainland China who came to study counseling in Taiwan and the process the underwent. In the beginning of the story, the narrator decided to leave home due to having conflict with her mother, experiencing emotional loss, and thus set foot on a journey to pursue her independence. During the process of her counseling training in Taiwan, the narrator constantly had new learning experiences, interpersonal relationships, and various feelings and insights. These experiences also promoted the repeated differentiations and connections between the narrator and her mother. Through the exploration of narration, the narrator gradually discovered the influence of the father on the mother-daughter relationship and on the self, though implicit for the latter. Through the reconnecting with parents in real life and narration, the narrator gradually saw and understood the significant others in life, and developed a new understanding of herself. At this point, leaving home and going home, is no longer an action or a choice, but a way of back-and-forth growth, that stretches into the distance and also roots inwards.