異性戀者公開求愛的經驗分析

本研究以異性戀之間的公開求愛為主題，探究這個行為背後所牽動的性別權力關係，以及消費文化、浪漫愛對現代親密關係的影響。我將公開求愛定義為「整個過程被旁人目睹的告白或求婚」，而且希望透過深厚描述，瞭解當事人的經驗與感受，探討公開求愛出現的條件、公開求愛對當事人的意義，以及公開求愛會伴隨哪些消費行為。本研究採用質性研究，以半結構深度訪談及文本資料做為資料來源。所招募的受訪者以公開求愛的主角為主，也就是求愛者與被求愛者，旁觀者不列入受訪者範疇，求愛是否成功並無限制。　　研究結果發現，在敘說文化的擴散之下，公開求愛是求愛者藉著公開敘說來肯定愛情的承諾，並且向在場人士展現奇觀，包括求愛者的人脈、動員能力與財力。求愛者看似掌握全局，但其實要承擔被當眾拒絕的風險，因此通常會在事前旁敲側擊，盡量探詢心上人的心意，確保不會失敗。在此狀況下，公開求愛最直觀的功能「詢問對方是否願意跟自己交往卅結婚」反而象徵意味大於實質功能。被求愛的一方也並非全然被操弄，有人會透過暗示，要求對方向自己求愛；有人即使遭遇不喜歡的公開求愛，也可以掌握有限的資源來隨機應變，扭轉局勢。但整體而言，異性戀在公開敘說的情況下，「男主動、女被動」以及「男陽剛、女陰柔」的異性戀常規仍舊很難撼動。

關鍵字

公開求愛；浪漫愛；敘說；親密關係；陽剛特質；奇觀

並列摘要

This research is to explore how the heterosexual’s courtships in public connecting to the power of gender relations, consumption culture, and romantic love affect modern intimate relationships. I define “the courtship in public” as "the whole process of a proposal or a love announcement that can be witnessed by other people.” By the thick description of the processes, I want to understand the experiences and feelings of the people involved and explore the essential elements, the meanings to the people involved, and the consuming behaviors of the courtships in public. In this qualitative research, I use the way of semi-structured in-depth interviews and textual information as data sources. My interviewees are the people involved of the public courtships those who paid court and were courted. In addition, the witness and the consequences of the public courtships are not taken into account. The result shows that: For one thing, because of the extension of narrative culture, people who pay court can confirm the promise of love and demonstrate “spectacle,” including their personal networks, ability to mobilize, and financial capacity by means of voicing overtly. However, in case of being rejected in public, people who pay court have to feel the courted out about the public courting action in advance to make sure the success, although they seem to control the overall situation. In this case, the actual purpose of public courtships is not really to court, but rather a symbolic ceremony. For the other thing, people who are courted are not manipulated entirely in these cases. For example, some of them would ask for the courtships in public by hints, and the other would use limited resources to reverse the situation even when they were suffering a courtship they don’t enjoy. Nevertheless, in general, it is still difficult for the heterosexual to subvert heteronormativity (male active, female passive) in the case of public narrative.