挑戰婚姻：單身、不婚女性主體在台灣

摘要本研究旨在探究單身主體在已婚性卅別政治佈局中如何自我創構，期望重新定義在異性戀父權體制下的單身地位。單身女人雖然沒有進入婚姻，透過與原生家庭互動，目睹身旁友人婚姻經歷，意識到異性戀婚姻中諸多不利與壓迫（第二章）。主流社會不敢、不能面對婚姻破產的情況下，只能不斷告誡恫嚇年輕單身女人小心一蹉跎將步上「老姑婆、老處女」這條不歸路。另方面，文化歧視、譴責單身不婚女人，認定她們是婚姻制度的「叛逆者」，對單身女性貼標籤，以不同形式打壓，污名於焉產生（第三章）。面對主流社會不斷美化歌頌浪漫愛情與異性戀婚姻；被扭曲為嫁不出去，沒人愛的年長單身女人，實質上是她們對愛情、性（sexuality）、親密關係具獨特的思考邏輯（第四章）。不以結婚為單一歸宿的單身不婚女人，她們賦予自我生命意義，及對「家」的見解與實踐（第五章）。單身女人所佔的主體位置，先是，處於性別劣勢，被編派為次等、附屬、順從的她者，加上「單身」被邊緣化的多重她者；再來，社會、媒體提供單身過渡、單身貴族、單身公害、第三者等身份。至於單身自己建構的主體位置可謂是缺席的。本研究訪談19位35—75歲單身女人透過她們的闡述有了下列發現。一、不婚女性挑戰並削弱「強制異性戀婚姻體制」對女人的規範與支配權力：受訪者不論堅定不婚，或曾對婚姻嚮往，還是在結婚機會來臨時將它推開，她們一致瞭解自己要什麼，更清楚知道自己不要依循傳統女人宿命。堅持突破進入婚姻窠臼的單身女人彰顯女人追求、認定自己出路的可能。二、單身女人的抗爭揭露污名化做為捍衛異性戀婚制與鞏固父權體系的政略：面對家庭親族與社會守舊勢力輪番上陣的污名，受訪者運用策略努力擺脫接踵而至的偏見。這些被視為「心理變態」的“老姑婆”，實質上是健康、開朗、內省、尊重、為他人著想、愛孩子、獨立自主的女性。三、受訪者透視愛情是一種商品，既不浪漫也不真實，更複製性別不平等，獲益的仍是異性戀婚制：在異性戀氛圍裡，女人只能是男人的女友、情人，不能是朋友，不僅宰化人際關係、強化男女兩性特質，更複製性別不平等。戀愛開啟了婚姻交易的序曲，單身女人看穿羅曼蒂克愛情扮演催化要角以達婚姻終極目。四、對「家」的多元想像與實踐：不婚女人駁斥傳統強調「歸宿」或固有「家」庭意識，她們具體實踐著沒有婚姻，沒有家，但，卻極富意義的生存型態。單身女人排除婚姻體制的同時，一方面挑戰婚姻霸權，另一方面則用自己的方式追求自我認定的歸宿（結局）非命定的婚姻歸宿。關鍵字：單身、不婚、污名、強制異性戀婚姻體制

關鍵字

強制異性戀婚姻體制；污名；單身；不婚

並列摘要

Abstract The purpose of this study is to explore how the single women construct themselves in the arrangement of married gender politics, and to redefine the single status under the heterosexual patriarchy. Although the single women have not entered into marriage, through the interactions with the original family and their friends’ marriage experiences, they are aware of the numerous disadvantages and oppression in heterosexual marriage (see chapter 2). The single young women are repeatedly warned and intimidated that once they hesitate about getting married, they will become “spinsters” since the main society dare not and can not face the collapse of marriage system. Furthermore, the culture discriminates and condemns the single women who resist marriage, presumes and labels them the “rebels” against marriage, and represses them in various ways, with the result that the stigma of single women comes into existence (see chapter 3). Confronting the romantic love and heterosexual marriage glorified and celebrated by main society, the senior single women who distorted as nobody wants to marry and loves have unique logic in thinking love, sexuality and intimate relationship essentially (see chapter 4). The single women who don’t take marriage as the only destination give meaning to their lives and have their own opinions and practice about “family” (see chapter 5). The subject position that single women hold is of gender inferiority in the first place, libeled as secondary, subordinate, and obedient others, along with the multiple others of marginalized “singles”. Then society and media impose the identities of single transition, single noble, single public nuisance, and the other woman on the single women. But the subject position that the single women construct by themselves is absent. In this study, 19 single women ages 35-75 were interviewed and the findings are as follows: (a) Women who resist marriage challenge and weaken the norm and dominance imposed by compulsory heterosexual marriage system. Whether the interviewees resist marriage firmly or have aspired to marriage, or refuse the opportunity of marriage when it comes, all of them understand what they want, and clearly know that they won’t follow the destiny of traditional women. The single women who persist to break through the marriage stereotype manifest they are likely to pursuit and identify their own ways. (b) The single women oppose themselves to stigmatization as the strategies for defending heterosexual marriage as well as consolidating patriarchy. Facing the stigma from the kin and social conservatives, the interviewees use tactics to get rid of biases that come in succession. Those “spinsters” regarded as “abnormal” are actually healthy, optimistic, introspective, respectful, considerate, child-adoring, and independent women. (c) The interviewees have an insight into love, which is a product neither romantic nor realistic. It reproduces gender inequality and the heterosexual marriage system profits by that. In the atmosphere of heterosexuality, women can only be men’s girl friends, lovers, but cannot be friends. This not only narrows interpersonal relationship, but also enhances the characteristics of both sexes, and even reproduces gender inequality. Love is the prelude of marriage trade. The single women understand thoroughly that romantic love is the main agent to attain the terminal purpose of marriage. (d) The single women have diversified imagination and practice about “family”. Women who resist marriage refute the traditional ideas of “destination” or inherent “family” consciousness. They practice a lifestyle that is of no marriage, no family but full of meaning. While the single women banish the marriage system, on one hand, they challenge the hegemony of marriage, and on the other hand, they pursue self-identified destination but not preordained destination of marriage. key words: single, marriage resistance, stigma, compulsory heterosexual marriage