《「再見」蔡珏伶》 一位女性藝術家的自覺：關係系列動畫作品之三之創作自述

The Self-Awakening of a Female Artist：An Essay on an Animation Short “Meeting and Leaving Myself”

蔡珏伶(Tsai Chueh-Lin)

指導教授 ： 李道明

國立臺北藝術大學/美術學院學術論文/科技藝術研究所碩士班/碩士(2014年)

https://doi.org/10.6835/TNUA.2014.00025

摘要

《「再見 」蔡珏伶 》是筆者的畢業作品，也是筆者在科技藝術研究所就讀三年來，依據兩性關係所發展出來的系列動畫作品的第三部。此次畢業作品中，故事裡的女主角藉由窗戶來到「現在」。靈魂的缺席，使得她的身體不由自主的望向過去，也不願意捨棄已經失去賞味期限的愛情信物。女主角緊抓著過去的種種，也許是一段情、更可能是一個信念，背負著沉重的痛楚在「現在｣不停的懲罰自己。在這部動畫作品中，兩性關係被隱喻成一種瘋狂、自虐的形態。每個人都極需要愛。需要的感覺，大過於真正去愛。這空間的每個人都「要」。滿溢出來的慾望困住了所有的人，不停的複製別人的幸福。要如何看清楚問題的癥結，就非得自己親身體驗不可。
筆者在科技藝術研究所就讀三年期間，一直用「愛」作為所創作作品的故事中心思想。人們會在愛情中短暫獲得存在的意義但是，當這份存在感隨著激情褪去時，我們都想緊抓住愛情，再喚回那份存在的滿足。和男性相比，女性更容易陷在這樣的模式裡而不自覺。這篇創作論述先從心理、科學、文學去分析女性如何失去存在感，去釐清兩性長久以來的問題，已經不再是指責對方、大喊兩性平等。筆者在本創作論述中接著呈現在創作本次畢業作品時所經歷的創作思維與技術上的轉變與結果，並對作品提出檢討與討論未來可以改進的方向。
筆者在論述中指出，女性應該是從自身出發，去找尋自我存在的感覺。當自己有強烈且明白的存在目標，就將不會誤以為能從愛、財富、名氣…上獲得 存在感。筆者也認為自覺的途徑因人而異，因此作者只能在作品中提供觀者一個大方向，卻無法明確告訴觀者結果會是如何。因為唯有靠自身的體悟才是唯一解答的途徑。

關鍵字

存在感 ； 女性 ； 動畫 ； 自覺 ； 愛情

並列摘要

Meeting and Leaving Myself is the graduation work of the author. It is also the third part of a series of animated films developed according to the relationship between male and female during the three years when the author studied in the Graduate School of Art and Technology at Taipei National University of the Arts. The heroine of the story in Meeting and Leaving Myself comes to “the present” by a window. The absence of soul makes her inevitably look back into the past and unwilling to throw away the overdue token of trust that resembles love. The heroine firmly grasps things in the past, which may be a relationship or even a faith, and punishes herself by taking up heavy sufferings at “the present”. The relationship between male and female is compared as a crazy and self-abusing form in the animation work. Everyone needs love desperately. The sense of need is more than the sense of truly loving someone. Everyone in the realm “wants”. Desires that are out of control trap everyone, making them ceaselessly reproduce others’ happiness. To clearly see through the crux of the problem, one has no choice but experience by oneself.
During the three years’ period of studying in the Graduate School of Art and Technology, the author has always been using “love” as the motif of the stories of her works. People temporarily acquire the meaning of existence in love but when the sense of existence passes away as the passion dies out, they all want to seize love, trying to recall the satisfaction of being existent. Comparing with males, females tend to be stuck in such a mode while unaware of it. The dissertation first analyzes how females lose their sense of existence by examining literatures in psychology, science, and literature and then clarifies the problems that have long been existent between the two genders rather than blaming either male or female or merely blaring the slogan of gender equality. And then the author presents her thoughts and technical changes and results during the process of the creation. Finally, there is a review on the work and discussions on how the work could be improved in the future.
The author points out in the dissertation that females should find the sense of self-existence from themselves. When one strongly knows one’s object of existence with certainty, he/she would not have the misconception that one could obtain the sense of existence from love, wealth, or fame. The author also thinks the way to self-consciousness differs from people to people, therefore the author could only provide viewers with a general conception rather than distinctly telling them what the results would be for the only answer relies on the epiphany of one’s own.

並列關鍵字

sense of existence ； female ； animation ； self-consciousness ； love

參考文獻

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