焦慮之下的片刻快感

我在作品中常以「躁動」的形式欲呈現我自身某些焦慮的狀態，另一方面來說，也是一種對現況做出微小反抗的表現，然後從中獲得焦躁的釋放、甚至是某些快感。在本篇論文中，主要在回溯過去的作品，闡述我個人的創作歷程，從直覺式地描述外在的焦慮經驗，以及在記憶空間中，找到內在自我的投射，作為安逸的出口。本文分為三大部份，第一部份談論的是焦躁的聲音，也就是我對於外在環境有諸多不適應的最大感觸，而我製造、重現同樣惱人甚至是破壞性的聲音，再從聆聽這些聲音中得到平靜。第二部份則是透過身體感的顫動，同樣再現焦慮的狀態，再觀看這些失調和詭譎的有趣之處。第三部份進入我目前的創作方式，不再直接描繪焦慮經驗，而是經由重回記憶空間、想像成為兒童，短暫地沉浸於怡然自得之中。

關鍵字

焦慮；失調；躁動；崩壞；傾洩

並列摘要

In most of my works, I usually use the form of "restlessness" to express anxiety of myself. In other words, it is also a kind of resistance. Then I can get some release and pleasure. The main purpose of this paper is to explain my personal creation concept and status. Besides directly describing some experience of anxiety, now I try to find the reflection of myself in memory space which been a comfortable exit. This article is divided into three parts, the first part is about the restless sounds, which are my feeling of being not accustomed to the external environment. I create and reproduce the same annoying even destructive sounds, and get placidity from listening these sounds. The second part is that through the sensation of physical vibration, I reproduce the state of anxiety likewise, then watch the interest to these disorders and weirdness. The third part is into my creation, no longer directly describe the anxiety experience, but through returning to the memory space, image that can become a child, and to be immersed in the peace of mind.