摘要
創作對於自己從一種追求關係，期望與想像，漸漸兩者並列相對，作者與作品如兩個分裂的同物，兩者說著一樣的話；逐漸修正創作態度，直到心態將作品這另一個我轉變成獨立的它，對作品的想像形體趨向模糊，內化到自身不可分離之處，自己與作品的關係改變，也影響觀眾閱讀作品的方式。 本論文試圖從個人創作經驗論述，分析探討創作與個人生命之依存關係，從作者童年發展出的懷疑性格談起，自我在不信任的一切中成長，自由開闊的環境在大量否定下轉為茫然無助，並提及成長過程中存在主義對於個人的影響，反覆懷疑反而驅使自我無處容身，無限反彈；透過回顧過去作品的創作狀態，以兩件手繪動畫為主，其他的每件作品散落各處，互相於表面上沒有實際連結，唯有不變的是對於當下已知的懷疑，意志試圖不斷地從中心退開，趨向假設為理想的未知境地，卻無法脫離萬物漩渦般的相對旋回；若生存是主動選擇了不死亡，如何在多重觀點透視交錯下，尋找一個未被消滅的立足點，一個情願寄託生命的地方。 透過「圈外」的命題，假設退到一切相對價值之外，沒有相對物的虛無場所，黑暗之中，將由內向外的觀看反轉成由外向內的觀看，體認在外部世界的絕對未知下，自我意志對世界的絕對全知也同時被展開；作品對我來說是一片曠野，心中佇立的依據被逐一消滅，留下不可指出的虛無。
並列摘要
To me, the relationship between myself and creating art has changed gradually from pursuit, expectation and imagination, to opposite juxtaposition. The creator (myself) and the creation have become like the same thing divided into two, and the two speak the same words. I have gradually adjusted my attitude for creating art until my mindset transforms my other self--my artwork--into an independent subject, and the imagined form of my work tends to blur and internalizes into an inseparable part of myself. The relationship between my work and myself has changed, and thus influences the way viewers interpret my work. This thesis, which bases its discussion on personal creative experience, is an attempt to analyze and discuss the interdependency between creating and personal life. The thesis starts from the author's suspicious disposition that was developed during the author's childhood. The author grew up in everything that he didn't trust, and with the large amount of rejection, his free and open environment turned bewildering and helpless. The thesis also mentions how existentialism influenced the author during the author's life course, causing the author to repeatedly doubt himself, to find no place for himself, and to bounce back endlessly. Reviews of my past creative conditions mainly focus on two hand-drawn animated works while other works scattered around everywhere. Although these works were not correlated ostensibly, what remained unchanged was the doubt for everything known at the time when the works were created, and that my will tried to draw back away from the center and to move toward the presumed ideal future, but couldn't avoid the relative spiral of life of everything. If living means actively choosing not to die, then how can we cross multiple perspectives to find a standpoint which hasn't been destroyed and in which we can place of lives? Through the proposition "out side", I assume that I draw back to a place of nothingness, outside of all relative values, without any counterpart. In the dark, I reverse my viewing so I view things from outside to inside rather than from inside to outside. And when I experience the absolute unknown in the outside world, the omniscience of my own will for the world expands at the same time. To me, my work is an open field where the longstanding foundations in my heart are destroyed one by one, leaving the nothingness that cannot be pointed out.