自己人：從中國人情感格局看婆媳關係

Zijiren: The Relationship between Mother- and Daughter-in-law as Seen from a Classificatory Scheme of Chinese Interpersonal Affection

楊宜音(Yi-Yin Yang)

《本土心理學研究》 16期 (2001/12) Pp. 3-41

摘要

本研究採用參與觀察和深度訪談方法，以中國華北農村的一個家庭為個案，描述並驗證了楊宜音有關「自己人／外人」式的關係分類圖式的研究發現，並進一步從情感角度闡釋了人際互動所帶來的情感格局的特徵。楊宜音的研究曾發現，「自己人／外人」分類是一種心理分類，是中國人人際交往中關於「我們／他們」分類的方式。中國人在對關係分類時遵循兩個維度： (l)身分性維度，用以衡量和判斷在以生物血緣關係為基礎的社會制度安排下，個體之間的血緣身分位置和距離。(2)交往性維度，用以衡量和判斷以交往為基礎的人際吸引的性質與程度。
一般而言，傳統社會「家人」關係既有血緣基礎，又是個體終身交往最多的關係，因而表現為「身分性」與「情感性」，特別是「應有之情」與「真有之情」的相互聯帶和附著。而在傳統社會中，女子與男子在與其父母的關係上是有所不同的。女子在婚後將為公婆養老送終，而不是為父母養老送終。於是，自出生至婚前在家庭中頻繁交往而形成的對生身父母的「真有之情」與通過給他們養老送終而表達的「義務之情」或「應有之情」之間發生了分離，而對公婆要養老送終的「義務之情」也往往與在夫家通過媳婦與公婆交往形成的「真有之情」之間發生分離。
本研究恰恰以處於這一分離狀態的人際關係作為對象。這一研究發現中國人的情感關係格局是依照「自己人／外人」而非「家人／非家人」分類、由「應有之情」和「真有之情」這兩個維度構成的，並發現在現實生活中存在當「先賦性」與「交往性」出現分離時的真實類別，人際互動具有的「交往性」對「先賦性」規定有著某種改變的作用。

關鍵字

自己人 ； 差序格局 ； 真有之情 ； 應有之情 ； 婆媳關係 ； 情感格局

並列摘要

The zijiren (one of us, insider)/wairen (outsider) classification denotes the psychological distinction Chinese speakers use to distinguish ”us” from ”them”. Chinese speakers have two major dimensions for classifying different kinds of guanxi (relationship): (1) the ascribed dimension, which is a social institutional arrangement based on kinship and manifest in obligatory affection; and (2) the achieved dimension, which is based on interpersonal interaction and manifest in genuine affection.
Relationships between family members in traditional Chinese society were based on close kinship as well as frequent transactions throughout a person's entire life. They developed and were strengthened through the continuous intricate fusion of obligatory and genuine affection. The parent-daughter relationship would change once the daughter got married. The daughter's ascribed obligation to provide for her parents' basic needs and burial would transfer from her parents to her parents-in-law. The genuine affection a daughter had for her parents became separated from her obligatory affection, and the obligatory affection a daughter-in-law possessed for her parents-in-law was detached from her true affection formed through interpersonal interaction.
This detached interpersonal relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the focus of this study. This study examines the claim that Chinese affection patterns are based on the zijiren/wairen distinction, not on the distinction between family members and non-family members. Results show that a very detached type of affection comes into existence when the association between the ascribed and achieved relationship is broken or changed to a substantial degree. This association can be gradually rebuilt through subsequent interpersonal interaction.

並列關鍵字

affection pattern ； genuine affection ； mother- and daughter-in-law relationship ； obligatory affection ； zijiren/wairen

參考文獻

楊宜音 Yang, Yi-Yin(2000)。自己人：一項有關中國人關係分類的個案研究。本土心理學研究 Indigenous Psychological Research in Chinese Societies。13

(2001)。中國人的人際關係、情感與信任－一個人際交往的觀點。台北:遠流。

Acitelli, L. K.(1993).Individuals in relationships.Newbury Park, CA:Sage.

Duck, S.(1993).Individuals in relationships.Newbury Park, CA:Sage.

Duck, S.(1994).Meaningful relationships: Talking, sensing and relating.Thousand Oaks, CA:Sage.