看不見的愛情：初探台灣女同志伴侶親密關係的發展歷程

The Invisible Love: A Preliminary Study of the Development of Relationships for Lesbian Couples in Taiwan

謝文宜(Wen-Yi Shieh)

《中華輔導與諮商學報》 24期 (2008/09) Pp. 181-214

https://doi.org/10.7082/CJGC.200809.0181

摘要

本文透過10對固定交往一年以上的女同志伴侶深入訪談資料，進一步從相識、相熟、到伴侶關係經營與維持三階段，探討女女之間親密關係建立的可能性，彰顯出女同志伴侶親密關係發展的動態歷程，及其伴侶關係經營的特殊性（包括：呈現若隱若現、純粹而黏膩的伴侶關係、多元彈性的性別角色）。本研究發現可從女同志與異性戀者伴侶關係的相似與相異之處來進行說明：
一、相似之處：女同志在伴侶關係發展三階段與異性戀婚姻市場中社會交換論的投資模型無異，即便面對兩人不同生命週期的差異，亦努力學習接納對方，磨合出兩人互動的溝通模式。
二、相異之處：礙於一般日常生活的社會規範排除了非異性戀伴侶關係，女同志關係發展相識階段，便面臨不知如何進行表白的不安與掙扎，其若隱若現的伴侶關係經營，更加深彼此的不安全感。同時，亦因為高度的期待，引發對於關係高度的注意與緊張，呈顯出女同志純粹且黏膩的伴侶關係，以及追求平等關係的氛圍，共創角色扮演的彈性協調，作為雙方對抗外界的反應。

關鍵字

女同志伴侶 ； 同志伴侶關係 ； 承諾 ； 關係發展 ； 關係維持

並列摘要

Ten lesbian couples who have been together for more than a year were interviewed in the present study. The data explored three stages they went through while building their intimate relationships: awareness, initial contact, and relationship maintenance. The results highlighted the dynamic process of the development of lesbian couple relationship, and the uniqueness of such relationship (including its lack of clarity, its purity and enmeshment, and its flexibility regarding gender roles). The study also discusses the similarities and differences between lesbian couple relationships and heterosexual couple relationships.
1. Similarities: The three stages of lesbian couple relationship development is similar to that of the social exchange investment model that heterosexual couples go through. Even when facing differences in their life cycles, they still try hard to learn to accept each other and to build their own communication pattern.
2. Differences: Due to the exclusion of non-heterosexual couple relationship from societal norms, lesbians have to face uncertainty and struggle in attempting to express their interests in the other persons at the awareness stage. This half hidden couple relationship created more insecurity for both partners. At the same time, due to high expectations, the tension in the relationship was elevated. This, while it makes the relationship appear purer, creates more enmeshment. Finally and in order to resist the reaction from unfriendly environments, they also tend to pursue a relationship with more equality and role flexibility.

並列關鍵字

commitment ； lesbian couples ； relationship development ； relationship maintenance ； same-sex couple relationship

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