學業成績在親子關係中矛盾與澄清之自我敍說

心理分析的傳記研究導源於1925年的S.Bernfeld。他認為教育者最先認識的孩子，其實是自己心裡的孩子。由此，將教育者的教育觀連結上其自身的童年經驗。本研究採用Kraft心理分析的觀點，回溯個人早年壓抑的經驗，察覺其將創痛經驗予以克服與昇華的歷程，進一步彰顯童年故事在日後教育經驗裡的意義。在研究方法上，藉由自我敘說來探索我和女兒的成績故事。研究結果發現，身為一個母親，我發現在自己教育女兒的過程與童年經驗有密切的關聯性。在成績議題上，女兒小學階段，我想把自己當年在成績裡遭受品評與競爭壓力的不愉快經驗昇華，為女兒創造出一個不受成績評價的成長空間；然而，在女兒面臨國中的升學壓力時，我再度發現自己也不自覺地複製了當年父母與社會的成績信念，卻又弔詭的在複製的過程中加入自我意念，巧妙的迎合成績上的競爭為自己掙得渴望的目標。發現自己對成績的教育觀點根植於自己的生命脈絡之中，也才為自己的教育觀開拓新的可能性進行轉化。針對家長的建議為：一、瞭解自我童年受教經驗開啟自身教育觀轉化的空間；二、衝突在親子關係可以轉化成正向的發展。

關鍵字

自我敘說；親子關係；學業成績

並列摘要

The paper is to narrate the process of educating my daughter by narrative inquiry. For a long time, I have regarded academic achievements as an improper mundane standpoint, leading to my resistance to others who judge one's value by scores. Thus, after being a college teacher and a mother, I put emphasis on the integral potential development of my students and my daughter. Till her ninth grade, an anxiety emerged. I was worried about her scores in school, whether she would advance to a higher school, and if she was able to compete with those in society in the future. Abruptly, scores became the biggest parent - child conflict between us. My transformation in the standpoint of academic achievements made me suspicious of my inconsistent attitude, which induced me to review my brought -up stories, exploring how the scores had a profound influence on my life. This retrospect helped me not only, from resistance to acknowledgement, find out the realistic significance of scores and define scores with new meaning, but look upon my daughter from a brand - new perspective, developing a better parent -child relationship.