從「你的孩子不是你的孩子」故事敍説探索家庭系統與家庭動力

Exploring the Family System and Family Dynamic from the Five Story Narration of ＂Your Child Is Not Your Child＂ Film

蔡春美(Chun-Mei Tsai) ； 賴誠斌(Cheng-Pin Lai)

《家庭教育與諮商學刊》 24期 (2021/12) Pp. 31-60

摘要

臺灣2018年公共電視台播出的「你的孩子不是你的孩子」劇集，呈現五個家庭親子互動的故事，引發民眾廣大的迴響。在此，本研究從系統觀的角度，進行五個故事的敘說分析，探討故事中的家庭動力與親子關係。研究發現：（一）孩子面對母親的要求無力反抗，用偏差行為來平衡，且因在意母親的苦，而捲入夫妻系統。（二）母親與子女雙方期待的交錯，過度的介入讓孩子感受不到母愛，也可能將成就內化成自己的價值。（三）五個故事呈現出溝通不一致、界限模糊、三角關係、權力控制、家庭規則沒有彈性的家庭系統與動力，也呈現出孩子成為逝去或是讓父母失望的手足的替代人生。（四）親子雙方都在乎與對方的關係，都為對方著想犧牲，但得到不符自己內心期待的回饋。（五）女性深受母職形象壓力的影響，父親角色被工具化與缺席，女性在家庭中以子女為人生的重心，孩子的成就是自己價值的代表，甚至藉由小孩成就維繫夫妻關係。本文並提出實務家庭工作者應用的建議。

關鍵字

家庭系統 ； 家庭動力 ； 敘說分析 ； 親子關係 ； 親職教育

並列摘要

In 2018, Taiwan's public television broadcast ＂Your child is not your child＂ film included five stories about parent-child interaction. This article looks forward to analyzing the family system and family dynamic that affect parent-child relationship. From the perspective of narrative analysis, the researcher analyzes the verbatim content of five stories based on text analysis. This article focuses on the context of phenomena and events, and focuses on the assignment of meaning. We find: 1. In the five stories, the children's inability to resist the mother's request, so reflects self-harm, self-defeating, giving up autonomy, cat abuse, depression, theft, giving up talent and low self-esteem. 2. The expectation of mothers and children toward each other was missed, false single parents, food can express maternal love and can punish children also, what the achievement that children have is equal to mother's contribution, ignore the child's needs and achievements other than grades, and the children are responsible for when they are in trouble, inability to respond to the children's heart-wrenching words, etc. are the common situation of the five mothers. 3. The family systems and dynamics present in five stories are inconsistent communication, fuzzy boundaries, triangular relationships, power control, and inflexible family rules. And, the five stories also present mothers' deep-rooted values and beliefs, intergenerational inheritance and mutual influence of parent-child behavior, and siblings become a substitute for their older brothers and sisters. 4. There are five disappointed mothers toward their life, children, and themselves., because they couldn't reach the model mothers standard and the society's expectations of motherhood that set in their mind. They take for granted for planning their children's future life, sacrifice herself, be strong and independent to raise her child, treat upbringing as her own responsibility, give anything for her children, in order to achieve the imaginary ＂good mother＂ standard. Besides, children's good grades can also help bring her good quality of life, honor, and improve their marriage relationship. It can prove mothers' ability, and let their children complete their unfinished dreams. 5. Both parents and children care about the relationship with each other, sacrifice for the sake of each other, but get feedback that does not meet their own expectations. Women are deeply influenced by the image of motherhood, father role was instrumentalization and absent. Women put their children at the center of their lives in the family, and their children's achievements are the representatives of their own values, or it can even be maintaining the relationship between husband and wife through the achievement of children. However, excessive intervention makes children unable to feel the love of motherhood, and may also internalize achievements into their own value, balance them with deviant behaviors, and get involved in the couple system because they care about the mother's suffering. This article discusses the dilemma of motherhood, children's symptoms reflecting parents' marital problems, unanswered maternal love, and children's passive protests, and also puts forward parenting education recommendations for practical family professionals.

並列關鍵字

family dynamics ； family system ； narrative analysis ； parent-child relationship ； parenting education

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