家暴下母女關係的田野觀察個案研究-以紫羅蘭團體為例

摘要在台灣五O年代初期，絕大多數的女性生長在父權社會下，女性一直位居從屬的地位，在重男輕女傳統觀念下，女性的地位通常被忽略，得不到應有的尊重和寬容。此研究從原本遭受家暴的受虐婦女們，探討自己與母親的關係衝突，延伸至自己與小孩關係的努力經驗，展現一連串探索、因應、學習的過程。在遭受家暴的家庭中，尤以母親與女兒為家庭暴力中的主要受害者，但母親與女兒在相處互動的過程中卻因此產生衝突關係，乃是因為母親內化了父權文化制度，體現母親對於自身性別的輕視態度，結合了母親自身所經驗的傳統重男輕女的觀念，這種文化下長大的女性，在成為母親後，往往委屈自己，為家庭、小孩、父母辛苦且認命的活著，長期的壓抑、隱忍讓這些母親以生氣、憤怒、冷戰等不同方式來表達情緒，進而影響到她如何對待與教養自己的小孩。隨著孩子長大，母親與孩子之間常常形成諸多矛盾與衝突，親子關係日趨複雜，其中尤以母女關係為最。而母女關係不同於母子或父女的親密關係，因為母親與女兒同屬相同的性別，彼此間更容易產生認同感，母親在教育女兒的同時，也在塑造一個理想中的自己。關於家庭暴力下母女關係的議題，我在參與阮綜合醫院紫羅蘭成長團體中，觀察這些成員於一系列的活動中，運用表達性書寫、關係雕塑，及團體討論分享互動整理的過程中獲得新的經驗，從看見團體成員彼此的生命經驗，覺察並深入探索自己與母親的關係，試圖尋找自己與母親關係重新發展的可能，乃至延伸於自己與自己的關係，包括自我價值的重建，及與外在世界做連結，到最後改善自己與孩子的關係，從釐清、面對、接受、重整，修復，進而感激、寬容、原諒母親，幫助母親與女兒找到更自在的自己，屬於彼此關係新的自由。透過這些案例，我試圖理解及耙梳此一複雜的母女關係，以探索女性代間關係於父權脈絡中的處境與發展；並紀錄團體活動如何鬆緩與修復母女的衝突和困境。在此成長團體課程中的訓練和真實紀錄的反思，回到我與母親的糾葛關係，重新學習如何愛母親，在一次又一次的學習與探索，我試著運用課堂上的學習與啟發，幫助自己與母親於關係中，重新尋找屬於平衡的愛的方式，期待帶著這份關心，把經驗分享給關心此議題的人，及有同樣關係糾葛的母親與女兒們。關鍵字：家庭暴力、母女關係

關鍵字

家庭暴力；母女關係

並列摘要

In early 1960s’of Taiwan, most of women had been living under the patriarchal society. Under the influence of traditional son preference in Taiwan, women status were greatly ignored by the public. Women were taught to be in subjection to their own husbands and even family without respectability and tolerance. This study explores the kinds of relationship conflicts between battered women and their own mothers and extending to the effect experience with their children,; showing a series of exploration, situation they coping with and the process of learning. Mothers and daughters are especially the major victims of domestic violence in family. But mothers get alone with their daughters in conflicts through the internalization of patriarchal culture. This kind of attitude reflects the despising to their own gender and the experience of traditional son preference they went through. The women who grow up under the environment often make themselves wronged after they become mothers. They accept the fate to live for their family, children and parents. Living under long-term depression and forbear makes them express emotions by anger, wrath and being in cold war with others. And then these all affect them how to treat and raising their children. As children grow up, there are many contradictions and conflicts between mothers and children, especially with daughters. Mother-daughter relationship is different from mother-son or father-daughter relationship, that is because a mother being as the same gender with a daughter, there is a sense of identity between mothers and daughters. And when a mother educates her daughter, she also develops an ideal ego at the same time. The researcher observed how the group that conducted in Yuan’s General Hospital deal with the issue of mother-daughter conflicts under domestic violence by free writing and family seuzping and how a series of activities to be operated. I learned new experience not only from group discussion and sharing life experiences by membership but also from being aware of and deep exploring the relationship between my own mother and myself. Try to find the possibility to re-develop mother-daughter relationship and extend relationship with herself, including re-builds self-value and connects with outside world, finally improve the one with children. It helps mothers and daughters to be free and comfortable by clarification, face, acception, reform, resolve, compromise and thankful, tolerance and forgiveness mothers. The new free relationship belongs to each other. Through these cases, I try to understand and find the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters. And try to explore the mother-daughter relationship between generations under the patriarchal society. At the same time, I also record how the group releases the conflict and difficulties between mothers and daughters. I look back to the imbroglio relationship with my own mother by the training from group and introspection. I re-learn how to love my mother. Over and over I try to use what I learn and enlighten from the group to help my mother and myself to find a balance way to love each other. Look forward to sharing experiences with mothers and daughters who also fall in the imbroglio relationship and the people who care about the issue. And expect to develop possibilities of resolve the conflict between mothers and daughters. Key word：Domestic Violence、Mother-Daughter Relationship