幽緲邊界下的創慟處境：探究九二一震災身心障礙者的失能體驗與喪親經驗

本文以個案研究法探討一位「九二一」震災中，自己遭到重物壓迫造成脊髓受損，終身需在輪椅上生活；其妻女也不幸於災難中罹難的受苦者心身經驗。面對身體障礙與心理哀悼的「身心」破碎關係，本研究一方面探查參與者如何面對自身的失能處境；另一方面瞭解其創慟心理下的哀悼處理工作。參與者是一位56歲男士，共接受三次訪談，每次訪談約為50至60分鐘。資料蒐集歷程，重視反思分析，關注參與者的經驗生成。資料經比較閱讀與主題結構化後，主要結果為(1)參與者的自我經驗：功能與失能的斷裂處境。(2)參與者的他人描寫：記憶膠囊的封存與掀開。(3)自我與他人的關係指向：無限迴路的生成。因此，受創處境是幽緲邊界，難以清楚界定心理經驗階段。參與者的處境，無法以心理病理角度理解，而是在身體障礙與心思哀傷交織的斷裂網結下，仍能望見無限生機脈絡的開展。

關鍵字

失能；記憶；悲悼

並列摘要

This research was adopted case study to explore the complicated bereavement experience of the participant, who lost his wife and daughter in the 921 earthquake in Taiwan. He was seriously hit by the heavy object, and resulted in his spinal cord damaged. This disability state made him to live on the wheelchair after the disaster. Under such bodily dysfunction and psychological grief fracture situation, the process of how to deal with his disability and mourn the grief work for the participant was an important issue to be explored and discussed. The participant is a fifty-six years old man. Three depth interviews were conducted. Each interview was last for about 50 to 60 minutes. Reflective analysis and lived experiences emergent from themselves were emphasized through this methodology. Through rereading and analyzing the narratives session by session, and comparing repeatedly the interview materials, the main themes were constructed from the contextual description. Three contextual psychological reactions to the traumatic bereavement were emerged, namely, 'from the self experience: dilemma between the function and disability', 'from the significant other imagination: sealed and unfold rituals of the memorization capsule', and 'the relationship between self and the significant other: limitless life new tasks around the changeable limbo. It was difficult to define clearly the psychological experience stage. The participant's situation was unable to be understood in terms of psychopathology. Under the intra-dynamic relations between the physical-psychological interactions, handicapped and mourning processes interweaved context made the rupture web, his renew life horizon was developed in boundless temporality.