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穿越階級藤蔓-父女關係斷裂與再生歷程

Breaking and Rebuilding Bounds-Reflecting on My Father-Daughter Relationship

摘要


本文透過自我敘說,反覆回看故事、反思,並行動,以社會脈絡觀點,看見個人試圖證明自己非失能者,透過升學考試提升自己,往「文明世界」靠近,並排斥回返「不文明世界」。即個人與母親緊密不可分背後,亦與對父親刻意疏離有關,疏離是想脫離「貧窮」,也想透過不斷唸書來提升「階級地位」,這反而使我與家庭產生關係斷裂。在父女關係斷裂之處,看見我對「失能恐懼」背後的社會建構,包括「失業等於失能-父女關係斷裂」、「晉升作為擺脫不利處境的策略」、「不斷向上爬-內化為強迫性焦慮與動力」。最後,研究者透過「父女相伴尋根」、「聽父親說他的生命故事」、「父親聽我說我的生命故事」、「召集生命故事見證人」、「父女關係位移」、「家庭關係挪移」等行動重新接起父女間斷裂的關係。

並列摘要


The present essay is a self-narrative; using past story-telling, reflections, actions, and social factors in an attempt to clarify that 〞I〞 am not without abilities, that I improved myself through the process of education and school admissions testing, and becoming closer to a 〞civilized world.〞Behind my unbreakable bounds with my mother were deliberate attempts of separation from my father. I attempted this separation to escape 〞poverty,〞 and aimed to elevate my 〞class〞 by means of education. This ultimately led to a falling out with family. Based on my broken father-daughter relationship, this essay attempts to trace and reflect on my social construct of 〞fear of inability.〞 Finally, the essay closes with a gradual reconciliation with my father through mutual story telling of memories.

參考文獻


王行()。
周佩潔(2003)。新貧冰風暴:家中主要生計者失業對青少年子女影響之初探。臺灣大學社會工作學系=Department of Social Work, National Taiwan University。
胡紹嘉(2005)。于秘密之所探光:遭遇的書寫與描繪自我。應用心理研究。25,29-54。
洪瑞斌(2005)。尋覓噤聲的畫眉:對「男性失業者」的理解與重構。輔仁大學心理學系=Department of Psychology, Fu Jen Catholic University。
張華葆(1987)。社會階層。台北市=Taipei City, Taiwan:三民=San Min。

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