遭受性侵害女性的母職經驗

本研究訪談六位在童年期曾遭受性侵害女性的母職經驗。研究發現性創傷對母職的影響為：擔心女兒會受到性侵害，投射出自己曾被性侵害的恐懼；擔心孩子受到傷害，難以放手讓孩子獨立探索；照顧重心放在孩子身上，忽略自己需求，易令自己陷於疲累循環中；不想重蹈父母的覆轍，期許自己做個好母親，但缺乏正向的親職技巧；憤怒或憂鬱的情緒干擾，影響親職行為；因為女兒遭受性傷害而記起本身創傷記憶，開始面對女兒與自己的創傷療癒；遵循傳統對女性貞操的看重，而特別期待女兒在婚前維護貞操。研究參與者從孩子的成長與回饋中看見自己的創傷，開啟心理的療癒。當其願意承擔母職挑戰或面對改變時，性創傷與母職的經驗即能彼此相互成長並正向影響。

關鍵字

性侵害；母職經驗；質性研究

並列摘要

The in-depth interview method was applied to interview six sexually abused females for their motherhood experience in this study. This research found that the influence of sexual trauma to motherhood included the followings. Firstly, they worried their daughters to be sexually abused and projected the fear of their past suffering. Secondly, they worried their children to be wounded and ware difficult to let them explore independently. Thirdly, they took too much care of their children to ignore the needs of themselves, and they were easily fallen into the burnout cycle. Fourthly, they did not want to make the same mistake which themselves had made, and they hoped to play a fine mother's role, however, they were lack of positively parental skill. Fifthly, owing to the interference of the anger and depression, the parental skill was impeded. Sixthly, remembering their own trauma memory from their daughters was sexually abused and pushed them start to face their mental health issue by sexual abuse. At last, following the traditional virginity complex, they expected the daughter to protect their virginity before marriage. In addition, they reevaluated their trauma from their children’s growth and feedback, and then started to cure their soul. Therefore, when they were willing to take the challenge of motherhood, and were willing to face the change, the experience of sexual trauma and motherhood experience would mutually positively grow.