從心理的主臥室到客房：一個將婚女性面臨伴侶劈腿的自我敘說研究

本文為自我敘說研究的論文，是一個生長在一個傳統的家族，但在不完全傳統的家庭中長大的女性，將婚階段經歷伴侶劈腿的情感失落後修復自我，回觀自己親密關係經歷的生命故事。研究者透過自我敘說的方式，重新經歷過往的生命經驗，讓現在的自己和過去對話，不斷反思這些經驗的意義為何。本文有三個研究目的：1、探討被劈腿悔婚後到決定分手的歷程對我的影響，並覺察故事其中的意義，進而建構出未來生命的力量。2、藉由研究者情感受挫的修復方法及歷程回顧，提供相同經驗者作為參考。3、提供專業心理輔導人員，協助情感失落者的方法作為參考。　　故事文本大致可分為四個階段：原生家庭與兒童期、面臨伴侶劈腿並試圖修復關係、修復自我且長出新的自我、發展新的親密關係，以順向生命時間軸進行敘說，並採用Lieblich提出之「整體-內容」分析方法，抽取出十二個不同階段的重要主題。研究結論分為我的轉變、給輔導人員的建議」、給未來研究者的建議(研究限制)三部分，其中「我的轉變」部分為透過自我敘說過程反思自我，發現經歷傷痛後復原的自己的轉變，包含：「擇偶觀念的轉變」、「對關係看法的轉變」、「學會自我照顧，接納自己的真實感受」，這些都是生命經驗帶來珍貴的禮物！

關鍵字

自我敘說；劈腿；將婚；修復；情感失落

並列摘要

This is a self-narrative study picturing a life story about a woman who grew up in a traditional clan but in an atypical traditional family. She faced her fiance’s cheating and then she repaired herself, and reviewed her intimate relationships. The researcher tried to re-experience the past life experiences with self-narration, and constantly reflected on the meaning of these experiences. There are three purposes in this study: 1. The study is to explore the influences on the woman from being cheated to making desicion of breaking up with the fiancé, and to aware the meaning from this traumatic event, and to figure out how the woman create the new life. 2. The study could be a reference for the people who had the same experience, according to the process how the woman reviewed and recovered from the frustration in this relationship. 3. The study could also provide suggestions for the professional psychological counselors to help the people suffering from the affectional loss. The story along the lifetime could be devided into four stages: growing up in the original family and the childhood; facing the fiance cheating and trying to repair the relationship; empowering herself and to be a new self; developing a new intimate relationship. There are twelve topics form the different stages in the story with the “Holistic-Content” method, indicated by Lieblich. There are three parts in the conclusions: my transformation, the suggestions to counselors, and recommendations for the future study and limitations in the research. In the "my transformation" part, the researcher tried to reflect on the tramatic experiences by self-narrations and see the transformation of herself. The process include "the new values of selecting mates "," the new perspectives in the intimate relationships", and "finding the way of self-caring, and accepting the true feelings". These are all the precious gifts from the life experiences!