放輕鬆就能隨「性」做？從性邀約看女同志的性與親密關係

台灣的性別研究極少著墨女同志的性與情慾，即便提及也多限縮於伴侶間的情慾互動，但是根據筆者對台灣女同志社群的觀察，發現有不少女同志在電子佈告欄徵求性邀約，顯示當女同志有情慾需求時，不見得只能找女友或是自我安慰一番，與陌生人進行短暫性互動也是其中一種方式。因此本研究以女同志姦情版作為田野觀察對象，呈現女同志性邀約的各種樣態，並分析這些實踐如何顛覆與跨越了一對一的霸權意識型態。研究結果指出，女同志性邀約的面貌非常多樣，隨著邀約動機、情境、邀約對象的不同，女同志透過性邀約獲取不同面向的親密需求，我以邀約動機將性邀約分成三種類型，第一種，也是相當普遍的一種，是透過性邀約獲得短暫、不需承諾的「類情人」；第二種是以追求性刺激與性的各式新奇體驗當成性邀約的終極目的，我稱之為「性刺激的追逐」；第三種類型則是將性邀約當作「找伴」的管道。無論是求取親密、求取性、或是求取長久伴侶，每一則女同志性邀約故事都反應出現代親密關係的脆弱與不安定，也呼應了社會學者對現代親密秩序變革的觀察，身處其中的個人，只能不斷在自由與承諾間求取平衡。一對一、以愛情為基礎的伴侶關係經常被女同志次文化視為最理想的親密關係形式，但是在性邀約的實踐中，許多女同志主動成為伴侶關係的反抗者，她們抗拒進入伴侶關係，或是成為伴侶關係的出軌者。抗拒進入伴侶關係的單身女同志，她們透過性邀約開展出公平互惠、自由、短暫的多重關係，但是「性獨佔」依舊是進入長期、認真的伴侶關係的重要界線，當性邀約的雙方想要相互承諾發展長期親密關係，她們依舊會遵循既有的性秩序，要不就成為一對一伴侶、要不就成為無性關係的朋友。有伴者的性出軌實踐最需要處理的議題為「背叛」，一般而言，在伴侶關係中若愛情或性已不可得，性出軌通常可被視為正當合理的實踐，否則就會被視為愛情的背叛者。顯示「兩人一組」的性秩序依舊深刻影響女同志親密生活的實踐。性邀約是以性作為社會互動的起始，打破了女人「先有愛才有性」的刻板印象，也顛覆了性邀約「只有性沒有情」的社會想像，性與愛情的脫勾，確實為女同志的親密生活帶來不同可能性，只是這些可能性不見得導向親密關係的「歡樂幸福」，我呼應Giddens等現代親密關係學者的論題，認為現代親密關係的艱難與挑戰在於自由與承諾的平衡，唯有靠不斷的嘗試與試驗才有可能找出最合適與滿足的途徑。

關鍵字

女同志；性；親密關係；多重關係；一夜情

並列摘要

Sexuality of lesbians is rare among the field of Taiwan’s queer studies. Even it was discussed were limited to among couples. However I have discovered numbers of sexual invitation and activities are conducted at BBS, the major communication media of Taiwan lesbians, therefore I have developed a strong interest and motivation in further discovering these activities. This study has a scope of the practice which is conducted on Taiwan’s lesbian BBS sites. I disclose various types of Taiwan lesbian’s sexual activities and to analyze how these acts subvert and transcend the ideology of monogamy. In my research, I categorize various practices among lesbian invitation into three major segments based on motivations within. First, which happens to be the most common practice is to develop mutual intimacy satisfaction through lover-like practice yet carries no commitment. Secondly, I name it seeking of sexual excitement while the drives lie purely on lust and the curiosity of sex. Last, some sees this practice as an alter way seeking long term relationship. Each story in lesbian invitation reflect the fragile and uncertainty among modern intimacy and reveal the difficulty of seeking balance among freedom and commitment. Exclusive, based on romantic love relationship has been considered the most dreamful practice in lesbian subculture. However during my research, many lesbians become resistant to this Bible-like ideology. They either refuse to enter monogamous relationship or have sex with another person in one to one relationship. For those who refuse to enter a monogamous relationship, they seem to develop a mutual, free but short term relationship with their sexual partners. However monogamy remains a fine line, which means if they choose to enter a long-term and serious relationship, they either become friends without sex or sex exclusive couple. Betrayal is considered the main issue among those who have sex with another person in a one on one relationship. Generally speaking, betrayal is a forbidden behavior UNLESS love and sex are absent among monogamous relationship, and this is the only legitimate and understandable reason for a person who is in a relationship and still have sex with a stranger. It is obvious that monogamy is still an order in lesbian intimacy. The practice of sexual invitation is not only breaks the stereotypes of love-comes-first-then-sex practice by women it also challenges common illusion of one night stand that excludes intimacy or feelings among two people. Disconnection between love and sex indeed brings more possibility of organizing intimacy life, however as Giddens and other concurrent scholars statement suggest modern people have new challenge in intimate life. They should continue to try and experiment in everyday life to construct a more comfortable and satisfying intimate life.