胎變－儀式性療癒空間  鄭迺蓁立體裝置創作論述

摘要為何再現傷痕？至今生命的創傷經驗與生活所面臨的一切困難依然在現今創作當中有著隱晦的連結，那些疑問不時從內在跳出來，促使筆者前進尋找答案。筆者不斷觀察過去與現在，並強迫自己用理性的視角去剖析當下所認知的自我，每當內在的鬥爭結束，過去所認知的自我便在眼前破碎與消逝，而筆者有時候就在那樣的毀滅感當中體驗再次癒合並重生，而後又再次撕裂、再次重生，不停在生命經驗裡循環如此的過程。現實中的肉體並無法承受多次的毀滅與消逝，而以創作再現的方式成了筆者靈魂的寄託。此次創作關於筆者自身家庭與內在問題的解決，並期待以此重建其自我理想和美好的家庭烏托邦。筆者運用複合媒材的物件裝置、攝影重組的手法重現內在的安全空間，並藉由子宮異常懷孕的葡萄胎現象的隱喻，從子宮、葡萄胎、脫離陣痛的聯想，延伸至其母親、家族的異質情感。本創作依照以下架構展開研究：第一章「緒論」分節闡述創作動機與目的、創作架構與流程、創作範圍與限制、名詞釋義，第二章「學理基礎」分節以精神分析、藝術治療、相關學術論文領域切入，並以此學理基礎回溯創作背景與前導作品，找尋童年創傷對於人格和創作的影響。第三章為「創作理念與表現形式」，書寫本展覽計畫＜胎變＞的核心理念，和《母親的眼》、《分離陣痛系列》、《圓系列》三大系列之創作理念與形式內容。第四章「媒材運用與表現技法」則整理材料的應用、創作技法與創作過程。第五章「創作成果與說明」為三大系列作品成果與說明，並分析此次創作的三大系列裝置。第六章的「結論」則分節以「創作成果與價值」和「未來展望與建議」做為最後檢討。

關鍵字

胎變；儀式；賤斥；藝術療癒；裝置

並列摘要

Abstract Why recreate the scar? Till now, the trauma of the experience of life and the difficulties of life are obscurely interlinked. Those questions, from time to time, pop out and prompt the author to look for the answer. The author constantly observes the past and the present while forcing herself to analyze current perceptions of self in a rational perspective. Whenever the inner struggle over the past self-perceived self is broken and disappears and when the author sometimes experiences time and again the feeling of devastation, healing and rebirth, then again re-devastation, re-birth, keeping a non-stop cycle of life experience. The reality of the physical body cannot withstand repeated devastation and disappearance and create a soul of entrusting. To solve the creation of the author’s own family and internal problems and look forward to reconstructing the ideal and happy utopian family. The author makes use of the mixed media to install the object and photographic reorganization techniques to reproduce the internal security space. By using the terms uterine anomalies pregnancy, a metaphor of the molar pregnancy, from the uterus, molar pregnancy, association of labor pains, she extends them to her mother, to her family. This study has been planned in accordance with the following creative schema: the first chapter「Introduction」describes the creative background and the purpose of creation, the thesis structure and the creative process, description of the key terms. The second chapter 「Theoretical Foundations」is divided into psychoanalysis, art therapy, and academic papers. These theoretical foundations’ retrospective will create a background of outstanding works to look for childhood trauma effects on personality and creation. The third chapter 「Creative Ideas and Forms」describes the core idea of 「Fetal Transformation」 and 「Mother’s Eyes」,「Separation and Labor Pain series」,「Round series」 a series of three creative ideas and form contents. Chapter 4, 「Media Application and Technical Analysis」, touches on the application of finished materials, creative techniques and creative process. Chapter 5, 「Creative Achievements and Descriptions」, three series of works and achievements together with the analysis of its creation. Chapter 6,「Conclusion」is the final review of 「Achievements and Values」and 「Future Outlook and Recommendations」.