告別哀傷-重拾生命意義的自我敘說

中文摘要本研究是藉由自我敘說的方式來描述我的生命故事。我先述說我的成長過程，幼年時艱苦與不愉快的生活環境，家庭成員之間的關係與互動，對我的人格成長造成很大的影響，我自卑、叛逆與自我放棄。隨後師長的肯定與鼓勵，激發了我積極向上與追求卓越之心。在大學時接觸了存在主義後，更加強我忍辱負重與堅毅耐苦的特性，並積極與負責任的對待生命。故事的主軸是突顯我生命裏的兩起重大的不幸事件: 我大弟得了腎衰竭症，及我遭遇了一起喪子毀容的嚴重車禍。在我處於生命力最旺盛的歲月裏，接連遭遇了兩次重大的悲慟事件，有一陣子還使我陷於自哀自怨的人生低谷。這期間我被失落，哀傷，自棄，與自我封閉的情緒困擾着。經過了內心的掙扎，及自我認知與反思，我最終走出心靈陰暗的日子，重新尋找生命的意義，再度積極的面對人生。關鍵詞：失落，哀傷，生命的意義

關鍵字

失落；哀傷；生命的意義

並列摘要

ABSTRACT This research is about my life story through self-narrative. The difficult and unhappy living environment, the relationship and interaction among the family members during my childhood years had great bearing on my character building, I was rebellious, self-rejected and with low self-esteem. The subsequent constant encouragement by the teachers motivated me to continually improve myself and change my destiny. I pursued and accomplished academic excellence. The encounter with existentialism in my collegiate years helped strengthen my perseverant character and be more positive and responsible towards life. The main theme of my story is focused on two tragic incidents in my life: one on the kidney failure of one of my younger brothers, and the other on a car accident in which I lost my eldest son and my face was permanently scarred. These two tragic incidents in the middle of my prime caused me to sink into an abyss and I was besieged with a sense of loss, grief, self-rejection and self-isolation. With inner reflection and self psyching, I finally managed to break out of the self imposed, restraining cocoon and regain the meaning of life. Keywords: loss, grief, meaning of life.