逆光回憶-一位失去摯愛的基督徒對其宗教經驗之自我敘說與反思歷程

這篇論文敘說的是「我的故事」，是一段關於身為年輕基督徒的自己，如何因著愛情開始接觸、認識也質疑信仰，並且在失去摯愛後，對這段橫跨十年的愛情、疾病、夢想與信仰交織的生命經歷進行挖掘、反思與梳理的歷程。在日常生活中，多數人很容易理所當然地將宗教視為一股內在恆定的力量，並相信它能讓我們在面對傷慟時，獲得情感上的支持與復原。但是從我的生命敘說中可以發現，宗教並非人們所想像的那樣與世隔絕，相反地，它與其他知識形成的歷程相仿，都會與社會人群彼此交互影響。因此在這篇論文中，我除了嘗試藉由宗教社會學家Peter Berger的理論，釐清我與身旁他人的價值與行動是如何受到宗教的影響外，也要深入分析我與身旁他人的互動歷程中，我們各自的宗教理解是如何在「質疑—維護」及「崩毀—重構」的流動過程中，不斷被反思實踐。期盼透過我的信仰反思歷程，能加深成人教育工作者對宗教正卅反面力量的理解，進而協助具有信仰的喪慟者容許自己在宗教中保有自我反思的動態空間，從悲傷中找到適合自己的生命出口。

關鍵字

宗教；基督徒；反思學習；自我敘說

並列摘要

This paper states my story which is about a young Christian who started to be acquainted with religion and then doubted it because of love, and discusses the progress of the ten-year-lasting love, disease and religion after losing the love in my life. In our daily lives, most of people take it for granted that religion is the inner power and believe that we can gat emotional support and recover from it when we suffer from pains. However, in my statements, religion is not so seclude. The interaction between religion and people, just is like the progress of knowledge. In this paper, I tried to express how religion influences the value and the behavior of the people and me, and analyze how the progress of our religious understanding was practiced through “doubt-protect”, and ”destroy-reconstruct” when people and I interacted. I hope my paper can help Adult education workers understand the positives and negatives of religion, and help the Christian who lost his/her beloved has dynamic reflections and gets on with their lives.