如果這世界再也沒有情緒

本創作研究以自我的情感壓抑與生活經驗為出發，生活了二十來年，在體驗生命的各種經驗中，深刻的發現情感在我身上是敏感的發酵，足以牽動各種情緒感觀，也在身心靈上烙下深刻的痕跡，感情上的壓抑、大環境的動蕩、經濟不景氣引發排山倒海的效應，受波及下遭受痛苦與壓力，因此變的憂鬱，大環境無休止盡的重覆，造成精神上的負荷，產生了逃避與孤寂，精神狀態已不是外顯狂暴上的情緒變化，反而轉向內化的心理突變，外表一如往常，身體也是正常無恙，但心中一直有個隱憂，變的若有所思，不知該如何訴說，也不知該向誰訴說，心理上好似空洞般的遺失，嚴重的產生矛盾感，其實也說不上是患了精神方面的疾病，但總覺得自己似乎哪方面不對勁，在這樣的氛圍之中，內心產生了無可明狀的變化，說不出是什麼樣的物質在心深處糾結，就這樣隨著時間慢慢遺失而消散，怎麼也掌握不了，卻也說不明遺失了什麼，這是說不出卻又無可奈何的狀態，好像手中握著一把沙，握的愈緊消失的愈快，就如同生命中不可承受之輕般，身心疲憊只好無奈接受。在如此的現況下創作成為我心靈發洩的管道，創作對於自身而言是一種自我對話和自我救贖，藉由創作檢示自己的內心狀態，將自我形象投入於人物中，反映出內心當下狀態之異化。在《如果這世界再也沒有情緒》系列，希望在流失與記憶間找到內心平衡，解釋人們如何遺失本質和空洞憂傷的孤離感，和變動的大環境中自身的存在狀態，搜集有關「精神憂傷」、「孤寂情緒」、「空間意象」、「存在主義」等學術理論來印證，透過作品分析更了解自我內心當下的存在狀態。

關鍵字

孤寂情緒、精神憂傷、空間意象、存在

並列摘要

The research on the artistic creations is motivated by the confinement of my own emotions and life experience. More than twenty years’ life experience makes me aware that emotions’ effect on me are just like leavens which affect my senses easily and such emotions left deep marks on me, either physically or mentally. The restraint of my affections, the changes of environment and economic depression lead to various sequential effects which makes me suffer a lot and I become very melancholy. The repetition of endless changes of outer environment adds emotional burden on me which makes me feel like to run away and become very lonely. My spiritual state of mind is no longer just emotional changes that people could see from outside, rather, it turns into the state of internalized changes. From the surface, everything about me looks as usual, but as a matter of fact, a hidden worry is always there, and I become lost in my reflection and do not know how to relate and whom I can relate to, either. Such feelings make me always feel something lost and sense serious conflict within myself. It is not really any mental illness but always feel something wrong anyhow. Under such emotions, my state of mind experience inexpressible changes and cannot really tell what is bothering me deep in my mind which is totally beyond my control. They are just gone with time passed and disappeared to nowhere. I cannot really say what I have lost and this is a helpless situation; it is like I am gripping a handful sands but the tighter I grip, the faster they disappear. It is like an unbearable lightness in my life and I can only take it wearily without other choices. III Under such mental state of mind, artistic creation provides the releasing channel for my emotions. Artistic creations is a self-dialogue and self-salvation; I check my own inner state of mind through artistic creations and reflected my self-images in the objects of my works to show the emotion changes at that time. In the series of〈No more Emotions in the World, If possible,〉it is expected to achieve the balance of my inner state between loss and memories, explain how people lose their innate characteristics, the loneliness full of emptiness and sorrow as well as the self-existence in the constant-changing environment. The theories regarding spiritual sorrow, loneliness, spatial images and existentialism are provided to testify the statement and hope to gain more understanding of my own inner state and self-existence through the analysis of the creations.