Title

雨後有彩虹?男同志向父母出櫃的故事

Translated Titles

After a Storm Comes a Rainbow? Narratives from Gay Men Coming Out to Parents

Authors

李豪

Key Words

男同志 ; 出櫃 ; 親子關係 ; 敘說 ; gay men ; come out ; parent-son relationships ; narrative

PublicationName

臺灣師範大學人類發展與家庭學系學位論文

Volume or Term/Year and Month of Publication

2011年

Academic Degree Category

碩士

Advisor

周麗端

Content Language

繁體中文

Chinese Abstract

近年同志運動風起雲湧,同志與婦女團體致力推展同志友善的福利、法令、教育政策等制度,同志議題逐漸獲得政府、學界、社會大眾重視,然而運動的進展卻也遭逢保守勢力反挫,質疑同志教育混淆兒童與青少年的性別認同。公領域的政治角力如火如荼,回到私領域的家庭中,父系家族責任與父母期許成為男同志難以承受之重,男同志向父母出櫃為關係帶來何種變化? 本研究以五名男同志的敘說故事體現同志的認同經驗,勾勒出櫃歷程的親子關係樣貌,每則故事宛如一段豐富而獨特的旅程,分別名之為「自強獨立」、「含蓄溫敦」、「掙脫心鎖」、「消極無奈」、「體諒省察」。研究結果顯示男同志認同經驗始於覺察自己與異性戀的差異,歷經階段性的調適最終達成正向認同,對男同志而言,同性吸引與情愛的感受皆自然發於本心,並未感到迷惘困惑,也並非遭受誘導,壓迫主要來自於外在社會規訓,因此揭露真實自我成為男同志出櫃的主要內在動因與意義,此外愛情交往經驗、正向親子關係、同志社群亦為促發出櫃之因。男同志出櫃之後引發父母震撼、傷心、憤怒等負面情緒,男同志採行正負面論述、訴諸情感、經濟獨立、心照不宣、陽奉陰違、期望合流等方式抗爭與妥協,經歷衝突、冷戰、協調、接納等過程,在時間緩衝之下雙方的心理親近感有所提升。即使如此,父母傳統期望、媒體恐慌仍然不時浮現,男同志與父母在文化規訓下陷入「不問不說」的窘境,形成情感與認知的斷層。簡言之,出櫃並未立即釋放同志身分的重擔,親子間仍存諸多權力拉扯,有賴家庭親子真誠溝通、學校納入同志教育、大眾媒體摒棄偏見由男同志角度出發,方能積極消除同志污名,增近親子關係。

English Abstract

Recent years have seen increased attention being given to LGBT movements. Gay and women’s associations endeavor to promote the welfare, law, and education policy that protect gay minorities. Gay issues are getting considerable attentions from government, academic communities, and mainstream popularity. However, the conservatives are opposed to these changes and question that LGBT curriculum will make children and teenagers confuse their sexual orientation with gender identity. The conflict between gay and dissenters is just like a wildfire. When gay men come back home, family becomes an unbearable burden. What will happen if gay men come out to their parents? This research includes five narratives about gay men’s identities and coming-out experiences. Each one is like a unique life tour. They are “Independence”, ‘‘Implicit Love”, ‘‘Release”, ‘‘Escape”, and ‘‘Introspection”. The results reveal that gay men’s identities start from being aware of differences from heterosexual. Gay men undergo adjustments and finally reach identity acceptance and pride. For gay men, both attraction and affection to other men originate in nature, not in confusion, mistakes, or temptation. Social disciplines are the major stress. Therefore, self-disclosing is the major motivation and meaning to come out. Besides, romance experiences, positive parents-son relationship, gay communities are catalysts of coming out. Coming-out makes parents shock, sorrow, and rage. Gay men utilize some strategies such as positive and negative statements, resorting to affection, being autarkical, tacit understanding, ostensible obedience, and compliments on parents’ expectations. As time goes by, gay men and parents go through conflicts, cold wars, adjustments, acceptances and finally get closer intimacy. However, parents’ expectations of getting married and homophobia created by mass media still emerge at times. Gay men and parents are involved in “do not ask, do not tell” because of the culture norms. It forms a gap between emotional acceptance and truly understanding. In brief, coming-out is not a panacea that guarantees happy endings for gay men and parents; they are still in the toils of power plays after coming out. It is recommended that gay men and parents establish open and honest communications; LGBT issues are adopted into formal curriculum; mass media move from prejudices to gay stances. Therefore, stigma on gay men will be eliminated and relationship between parents and son will benefit.

Topic Category 人文學 > 人類學及族群研究
教育學院 > 人類發展與家庭學系
Reference
  1. 朱偉誠(2000)。臺灣同志運動的後殖民思考:論「現身」問題。載於何春蕤(主編),從酷兒空間到教育空間(頁1-24)。臺北市:麥田。
    連結:
  2. 朱儀羚、康萃婷、柯禧慧、蔡欣志、吳芝儀(譯)(2004)。M. L. Crossley著。敘事心理與研究:自我、創傷與意義的建構(Introducing narrative psychology: Self, trauma, and the construction of meaning)。嘉義市:濤石文化。
    連結:
  3. 李美枝(1998)。中國人親子關係的內涵與功能:以大學生為例。本土心理學研究,9,3-52。
    連結:
  4. 李雅雯(譯)(1995)。R. F. Dew著。我的兒子是同性戀(The family heart: A memoir of when our son came out)。臺北市:新自然主義。
    連結:
  5. 周素鳳(譯)(2001)。A. Giddens著。親密關係的轉變:現代社會的情、愛、慾(The transformation of intimacy: Sexuality, love and eroticism in modern societies)。臺北市:巨流。
    連結:
  6. 邱珍琬(2002)青少年男同志認同過程與實際。彰化師大輔導學報,23,77-107。
    連結:
  7. 畢恆達(2003)。男同性戀與父母:現身的考量、策略、時機與後果。女學學誌:性別與婦女研究,15,37-78。
    連結:
  8. 游美惠、黃馨慧、潘慧玲、謝小芩(2004)。從性別盲到性別敏感的教育研究:以婦女成人教育與性教育研究的文獻回顧為例。通識教育季刊,11,1-38。
    連結:
  9. 黃光國(2005b)。儒家價值觀的現代轉化:理論分析與實徵研究。載於儒家關係主義:文化反思與典範重建(頁291-362)。臺北市:國立臺灣大學。
    連結:
  10. 黃囇莉、鄭琬蓉、黃光國(2008)。邁向發聲之路:上下關係中「忍」的歷程與自我之轉化。本土心理學研究,29,3-76。
    連結:
  11. 楊國樞(2008)。現代社會的新孝道。載於葉光輝、楊國樞(主編),中國人的孝道:心理學的分析(頁37-75)。臺北市:國立臺灣大學。
    連結:
  12. 臺灣同志諮詢熱線協會(2003)。親愛的爸媽,我是同志。臺北市:心靈工坊。
    連結:
  13. 謝文宜(2009)。同志伴侶親密關係發展的挑戰與因應策略。載於衣櫃裡的親密關係:臺灣同志伴侶關係研究(頁43-84)。臺北市:心靈工坊。
    連結:
  14. Allen, D. J., & Oleson, T. (1999). Shame and internalized homophobia in gay men. Journal of Homosexuality, 37, 33-43.
    連結:
  15. American Psychological Association (2007). APA dictionary of psychology. Washington, D.C.
    連結:
  16. Beals, K. P., & Peplau, L. A. (2006). Disclosure patterns within social networks of gay men and lesbians. Journal of Homosexuality, 51, 101-119.
    連結:
  17. Boon, S. D., & Miller, R. J. (1999). Exploring the links between interpersonal trust and the reasons underlying gay and bisexual males’ disclosure of their sexual orientation to their mothers. Journal of Homosexuality, 37, 45-68.
    連結:
  18. Cain, R. (1991). Stigma management and gay identity development. Social Work, 36, 67-73.
    連結:
  19. Cass, V. C. (1979). Homosexuality identity formation: A theoretical model. Journal of Homosexuality, 4, 219-235.
    連結:
  20. Crosbie-Burnett, M., Foster, T. L., Murray, C. I., & Bowen, G. L. (1996). Gays’ and lesbians’ families-of-origin: A social-cognitive-behavioral model of adjustment. Family Relations, 45, 397-403.
    連結:
  21. D’Augelli, A. R., & Hershberger, S. L. (1993). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth in community settings: Personal challenges and mental health problems. American Journal of Community Psychology, 21, 421-448.
    連結:
  22. D’Augelli, A. R., Grossman, A. H., & Starks, M. T. (2005). Parents’ awareness of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youths’ sexual orientation. Journal of Marriage and family, 67, 474-482.
    連結:
  23. D’Augelli, A. R., Hershberger, S. L., & Pilkington, N. W. (1998). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth and their families: Disclosure of sexual orientation and its consequences. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 68, 361-371.
    連結:
  24. Elizur, Y., & Ziv, M. (2001). Family support and acceptance, gay male identity formation, and psychological adjustment: A path model. Family Process, 40, 125-144.
    連結:
  25. Floyd, F. J., & Bakeman, R. (2006). Coming-out across the life course: Implications of age and historical context. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 35, 287-296.
    連結:
  26. Goldfried, M. R., & Goldfried, A. P. (2001). The importance of parental support in the lives of gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 57, 681-693.
    連結:
  27. Heatherington, L., & Lavner, J. A. (2008). Coming to terms with coming out: Review and recommendations for family systems-focused research. Journal of Family Psychology, 22, 329-343.
    連結:
  28. Hicks, G. R., & Lee, T. (2006). Public attitudes toward gays and lesbians: Trends and predictors. Journal of Homosexuality, 52, 57-77.
    連結:
  29. Holtzen, D. W., Kenny, M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (1995). Contributions of parental attachment to gay or lesbian disclosure to parents and dysfunctional cognitive processes. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 42, 350-355.
    連結:
  30. Levant R. F., & Richmond, K. (2007). A review of research on masculinity ideologies using the male role norms inventory. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 15, 130-146.
    連結:
  31. Lim, K. G. (2002). Gender differences and attitudes towards homosexuality. Journal of Homosexuality, 43, 85-97.
    連結:
  32. Miller, R. J., & Boon, S. D. (2000). Trust and disclosure of sexual orientation in gay males’ mother-son relationships. Journal of Homosexuality, 38, 41-63.
    連結:
  33. Mohr, J. J., & Fassinger, R. E. (2003). Self-acceptance and self-disclosure of sexual orientation in lesbian, gay and bisexual adults: An attachment perspective. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50, 482-495.
    連結:
  34. Oswald, R. F. (2004). Resilience within the family networks of lesbians and gay men: Intentionality and redefinition. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 374-383.
    連結:
  35. Patterson, C. J. (2000). Family relationships of lesbians and gay men. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62, 1052-1069.
    連結:
  36. Rosario, M., Schrimshaw, E. W., & Hunter, J. (2005). Psychological distress following suicidality among gay, lesbian, and bisexual youths: Role of social relationships. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 34, 149-161.
    連結:
  37. Saltzburg, S. (2004). Learning that an adolescent child is gay or lesbian: The parent experience. Social Work, 49, 109-118.
    連結:
  38. Savin-Williams, R. C. (1998). The disclosure to families of same-sex attractions by lesbian, gay, and bisexual youths. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 8, 49-68.
    連結:
  39. Savin-Williams, R. C., & Dubé, E. M. (1998). Parental reactions to their child’s disclosure of a gay/lesbian identity. Family Relations, 47, 7-13.
    連結:
  40. Scourfield, J., Roen, K., & McDermott, L. (2008). Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people’s experiences of distress: Resilience, ambivalence and self-destructive behavior. Health and Social Care in the Community, 16, 329-336.
    連結:
  41. Strommen, E. F. (1989). “You are a what?” Family member reactions to the disclosure of homosexuality. Journal of Homosexuality, 18, 37-58.
    連結:
  42. Troiden, R. R. (1989). The formation of homosexual identities. Journal of Homosexuality, 17, 43-74.
    連結:
  43. Waldner, L. K., & Magruder, B. (1999). Coming out to parents: Perceptions of family relations, perceived resources, and identity expression as predictors of identity disclosure for gay and lesbian adolescents. Journal of Homosexuality, 37, 83-100.
    連結:
  44. Walsh, F. (2002). A family resilience framework: Innovative practice applications. Family Relations, 52, 130-137.
    連結:
  45. Wang, C. Y., & Tang, S. K. (2004). Coming out experiences and psychological distress of Chinese Homosexual Men in Hong Kong. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 33, 149–157.
    連結:
  46. 中文部分
  47. 丁凡(譯)(2005)。D. E. Greenan, & G. Tunnell著。男同志伴侶的社會邊緣化。載於同志伴侶諮商(Couple therapy with gay men)(頁47-70)。臺北市:心靈工坊。
  48. 王勇智、鄧明宇(譯)(2003)。C. K. Riessman著。敘說分析(Narrative analysis)。臺北市:五南。
  49. 王雅各(1994)。長夜終盡的同志平權運動。載於臺灣男同志平權運動史(頁9-40)。臺北市:開心陽光。
  50. 白先勇(1989)。孽子。臺北市:風雲時代。
  51. 朱天文(1994)。荒人手記。臺北市:時報文化。
  52. 朱柔若(譯)(2009)。W. L. Neuman著。社會科學研究方法:質化與量化取向(Social research methods: Qualitative and quantitative approaches)。臺北市:揚智文化。
  53. 何春蕤(1998)。簡介Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick。載於何春蕤(主編),酷兒:理論與政治(頁26-31)。桃園縣:中央大學性/別研究室。
  54. 吳芝儀(譯)(2008)。A. Lieblich, R. Tuval-Mashiach, & T. Zilber著。敘事研究:閱讀、分析與詮釋(Narrative research: Reading, analysis and interpretation)。嘉義市:濤石文化。
  55. 李忠翰(1998)。同志的心事。載於我的愛人是男人:男同志的成長故事(頁83-102)。臺北市:張老師文化。
  56. 周華山(1995)。從「同性愛者」到「同志」:從性學的生產過程至當代同志研究。載於同志論(頁319-378)。香港:香港同志研究社。
  57. 周麗端(2010)。家庭危機與管理。新北市:國立空大大學。
  58. 金宜蓁、涂懿美(譯)(1998)。E. K. Sedgwick著。如何將孩子教養成同性戀:為娘娘腔男孩而戰(Tendencies)。載於何春蕤(主編),酷兒:理論與政治(頁11-24)。桃園縣:中央大學性/別研究室。
  59. 張春興(2006)。張氏心理學辭典。臺北市:東華。
  60. 許瑩(譯)(2010)。L. Aarons著。為巴比祈禱(Prayers for Bobby)。臺北市:基本書坊。
  61. 郭麗安(1994)。同性戀者的諮商。輔導季刊,30,50-57。
  62. 陳向明(2002)。社會科學質的研究。臺北市:五南。
  63. 陳耀民(2001)。我們都是一家人?論孽子與逆女中的家庭機制/身分認同與抗爭之可能性。載於何春蕤(主編),同志研究(頁207-238)。臺北市:巨流。
  64. 黃光國(2005a)。華人社會的臉面觀。載於儒家關係主義:文化反思與典範重建(頁237-289)。臺北市:國立臺灣大學。
  65. 黃道明(2000)。召喚同性戀主體:渾名、污名與臺灣男同性戀文化的表意。載於何春蕤(主編),性/別政治與主體形構(頁111-129)。臺北市:麥田。
  66. 楊國樞(2002)。中國人的社會取向:社會互動的觀點。載於華人心理的本土化研究(頁79-117)。臺北縣:桂冠。
  67. 葉明華、楊國樞(1998)。中國人的家族主義:概念分析與實徵衡鑑。中央研究院民族學研究所集刊,83,169-225。
  68. 臺灣同志聯盟(2010)。2010年5月6日,取自http://www.twpride.info/
  69. 臺灣真愛聯盟(2011)。性別平等教育議題課程綱要修訂建議書。2011年6月13日,取自http://www.tulv.tw/
  70. 劉人鵬、丁乃非(1998)。罔兩問景:含蓄美學與酷兒政略。性/別研究,3,109-155。
  71. 潘慧玲(2003)。社會科學研究典範的流變。教育研究資訊,11,115-143。
  72. 蔡敦浩、劉育忠、王慧蘭(2011)。敘說探究的第一堂課(第二版)。臺北市:鼎茂圖書。
  73. 英文部分
  74. de Vries, B. (2007). LGBT couples in later life: A study in diversity. Generations, 31, 18-23.
Times Cited
  1. 鄭群達(2014)。家庭出櫃男同志伴侶關係歷程之探究。樹德科技大學人類性學研究所學位論文。2014。1-208。 
  2. 黃信翰(2013)。多元性別文化:青年同志出櫃之關鍵因素研究。臺北大學公共行政暨政策學系學位論文。2013。1-101。