生活小悲劇-焦慮者的生活練習

這幾年來自己的創作持續關注在生活中所發生的微小悲劇上面，生活小悲劇召喚著不是原先生活應有的結果，這些種種現象中也是自己人生不斷反覆出現的習題。透過創作延伸到論文寫作，進一步挖掘出精神層面問題，試著探索與自我療癒。第一章節從心理學層面探索自己對生活中的失誤的關注，這些關注是逃避與自我防禦的方式，背後自身對於責任而缺乏自信，造就自我懷疑與焦慮的產生，透過禪修的體驗，感受到活在當下對焦慮的排解。第二章談大眾對攝影美學的慣性印象，從觀光攝影現象看出與真實生活的抽離，從攝影師黛安・阿布絲（Diane Arbus）獵奇的攝影題材以及馬丁・帕爾（Martin Parr）荒謬而真實的作品中，點出生活的真相。進而探討我自身對於攝影的觀察，那些ＮＧ照片中，鬆脫而真實的一面，我試著透過攝影，練習感覺生活每一個當下，然後跳脫焦慮，回扣至第一章結尾的結論。第三章從以往作品的脈絡中能看出自己的轉變以及一直存在的議題。第四章切入生活小悲劇，從攝影觀看那些當下，轉變到畫動畫，重返了那些小悲劇的前與後，心境焦慮的過程，探索出自我。

關鍵字

失誤、焦慮、當下、小悲劇

並列摘要

In recent years, I continued to focus on the tiny tragedies occurred in usual life in my own works. The tiny tragedies called the results were not the expected ways in life. These phenomena are also repeated topics constantly show up in my life. Extend to the thesis writing through the works, and go digging out the spiritual issues for further understanding. Try to explore and self-healing. I found myself that I concern the mistakes in psychology way in the first chapter. These concerns are the ways of escape and self-defense. In the other side, I am lack of confidence facing the responsibilities, which made up the self-doubt and anxiety. Through the meditation experience, felt that living in the present is the way out from the anxiety. The second chapter is about the accustomed impression of the public photography aesthetic. Seen from the phenomenon of tourist photography, it alienate from the real life. From the photographs of marginalized subjects of Diane Arbus, and absurd but real photographs of Martin Parr. It’s pointing out the truth of life. Go further exploring the observation of photography myself. In those unsuccessful photographs, seemed loose and real. I tried to feel the every moment in life through the photography. Then, jump out of the status of worry. Echo the conclusion of the first chapter. The third chapter is about from the sequence of my past works, it could find out the transition and the eternal issue myself. The Fourth chapter is about the theme ”Tiny Tragedy In Life”. Through the aesthetic of photography to present, then transit to the animation. Re-play the very beginning to the recent of those tiny tragedies. Explore myself from the procession of the anxiety mind.