一位自閉兒母親自主性母職之生命敘說

本研究主要目的在於探討自閉兒母親如何呈現自主性母職樣貌。研究對象為一位自閉兒母親。研究者採用敘說探究做為研究方法，並以半結構性深度訪談法喚起研究參與者的生命經驗以蒐集資料。研究發現包括: 一、母職的實踐歷程促進自主性母職的展現。1.工作與母職互為表裡，不放棄自我追尋，樂享工作、工作的成就與快樂稀釋了生活中的疲累；2.將學習新知運用在母職實踐中，自主性母職新樣貌藉由學習得以彰顯，因學習而開啟不一樣的互動方式與生活日常；3.家人共同組織的協同母職網，是自主性母職的基礎，來自於如何平衡家庭中的性別分工，父職的參與共同承擔子女教養責任；4.孩子的進步是對於母職實踐的肯定，孩子的日益進步更肯定了母親的教養方式，孩子呈現出適宜的情緒表達與生活調節能力，在在都是對於母親母職實踐的肯定。二、關鍵事件的生命轉折促進自主性母職的實現。1.堅持做自己，尋找適合孩子的教育體制，放棄現有教育體制中的融合教育，選擇特殊教育反而促使星兒與世界接軌，因材施教的教育模式，讓星兒卸下恐懼與自殘，母親也正式開啟另一頁自主性母職實現的道路；2.宗教信仰的支持、尋找生命的出口，宗教信仰的支持是股喜樂的力量，母親心態的改變獨立而自主，以正面與喜樂的心面對生活的困境與挑戰，也令家人感受到母親心理健康的展現，母親的穩定帶給全家更多的知足與正面能量； 3.童年時期的挫折磨練個性，不輕易說放棄，成就了母親現在的堅毅個性及生命力的賦能，在困境中因磨練而成就了自主性母職的展現。4.母子一同前進，是母親也是老師，母親相信自己對的堅持，對孩子不放棄，帶著孩子學習各項課題，自許自己是母親也是老師，帶著孩子繼續走向人生的道路。最後依據研究結果進行討論並提出建議以供未來研究與實務工作者參考。

關鍵字

自閉兒；自主性母職；敘說探究

並列摘要

This study aims to explore how an autistic mother presented the self-aware motherhood. The subject of this study was an autistic mother. The researcher used a narrative inquiry as the research method, and used the semi-structured in-depth interview to arouse the study participant's life experience in order to gather information. Findings of this study showed as the following: First, the practice process of motherhood promoted the display of the self-aware motherhood. 1. Work and motherhood were mutually reinforcing, not to give up self-seeking, enjoy the work, work achievements and happiness diluted the fatigue in life. 2. Applying new knowledge to the practice of motherhood, the new look of the self-aware motherhood was manifested through learning, and opening different ways of interaction and daily life due to learning. 3. Collaborative motherhood network jointly organized by family was the basis of the self-aware motherhood, from how to balance the gender division of labor in the family, the participation of the fatherhood shared the responsibility of the child’s breeding. 4. The child's progress was an affirmation of the practice of motherhood. The child’s progress was more affirmed by the mother’s parenting style. The child presented appropriate emotional expression and life adjustment ability, and all of that were affirmation of the mother's motherhood practice. Second, the life transition of key events promoted the actualization of the self-aware motherhood. 1. Stick to herself, finding an education system suitable for her child, giving up the integration education in the existing education system, choosing special education instead of urging her child to connect with the world. The educational model of teaching students in accordance with their aptitudes has enabled her child to unload fear and self-harm, and the mother officially opened another page to actualize the path of the self-aware motherhood. 2. Support for religious beliefs, looking for the export of life. The support of religious belief was the power of the joy. The mother changed her mentality to be independent and autonomous, facing the dilemmas and challenges of life with positive and joyful hearts, the family also felt the mother's mental health, and the mother's stability brought more contentment and positive energy to the whole family. 3. Frustration in childhood honed her personality, not easily said to give up, and achieved the mother’s current firm personality and vitality empowerment. Because of the tempering in times of hardship, the actualization of the self-aware motherhood was achieved. 4. Mother and child moved forward together, she was a mother and also was a teacher. The mother believed that she was right, did not give up her child, took the child to study various topics, and self-assumed that she was a mother and also a teacher, and took her child to the path of life. Finally, based on the research results, some discussions and suggestions were made for future research and practical workers.