熟齡長男未婚經驗之探究

本研究旨在探討熟齡長男的未婚經驗，以了解熟齡長男的未婚原因、婚姻態度，以及其所感受到周遭他人和文化環境對其未婚的態度與反應。研究者以質性研究作為研究方法，並以立意取樣的方式，透過網路和朋友網絡宣傳，共邀請8位研究參與者參與本研究。以半結構深度訪談的方式，進行每位一次面對面訪談，共計18小時45分鐘的資料蒐集工作，且將所得資料以主題分析法進行分析，而獲得本研究目的之研究結果。研究結果顯示：一、8位熟齡長男的未婚原因有「父母婚姻的缺陷」、「時地不利人不合」、「經濟尚未穩定」和「憂婚姻帶來限制」。另外，研究發現 1.未婚並非單一原因所造成。 2.「天時不利人不合」為主要未婚原因，其中尤其是「人不合」，顯示以碩士學歷為多的研究參與者是因對自己或對方有高期待而至今未婚。 3.「父母婚姻的缺陷」之「憂步上父母婚姻後塵」、「不嚮往婚姻生活」來自父母婚姻生活的缺陷，亦是間接造成未婚原因。二、8位未婚長男多以「避免與父母衝突」的方式回應家人對其結婚的期待，回應包含「積極回應」之「理性溝通」、「努力達標」，以及「消極回應」之「敷衍混過」、「沒有因應」、「勉強順應」。三、研究參與者多持理性婚的婚姻態度，認為須先「建立共識，再議婚姻」、「努力賺錢，盡快結婚」，若無前兩者，也可以「沒有規畫，隨遇而安」。四、多數研究參與者覺得「婚姻」並非必要，反應出「婚姻」是「可有可無的選項」、「可被取代的關係型態」、「限制慾望的責任關係」、「法律認證的責任保障」和「簽定終生的信賴關係」等的婚姻信念。五、不過婚姻生活若具有以下基礎，研究參與者對婚姻仍有正向期待，這些基礎包括：婚姻中的兩人能「獨立兼互助」；需要具備經濟基礎，因為「有錢才有情」；要能達成共識，因為「共識才能共好」，有助婚姻穩定。六、研究參與者對婚姻能否維持長久，也表達務實的看法，認為現代婚姻真的「誘惑很多、不易維持」、「婚姻形式，無助維持」，且需有「保護因子，才助長久」，但若婚姻真的「無法互利，也不需長久」。七、8位熟齡長男由於持續未婚，因此持續感受到家人、周遭朋友等整個文化的婚姻觀，這些觀點包括：認為婚姻乃「人生必要」之事、認為婚姻可讓其「獲得照顧」，認為婚姻可以「滿足父母」的期待，以及婚姻的組合應該要「男大女小」、婚姻的分工須要「男外女內」。八、8位研究參與者認為大眾對熟齡未婚者仍存有偏見，認為熟齡未婚者是「不負責、不承擔」、「有問題、有缺陷」和「下流老人、失敗者」。不過，多數研究參與者並未受到太大的影響，對自己生活持有高的滿意度。九、由於具有「長男」身份，研究參與者感受到「傳宗接代」、「樹立榜樣」和「照顧家人」之期待。文末，研究者針對研究結果加以討論，並對熟齡未婚長男及其父母與親友、心理專業助人工作者、社會、學校及未來研究者提出相關之建議。

關鍵字

未婚；熟齡長男；婚姻態度；華人文化

並列摘要

This study aims to explore the unmarried experiences of middle-aged first-born men in order to understand the reasons for their unmarried status, their attitudes towards marriage, and the attitudes and reactions towards their unmarried status from others around them in the cultural environment. The researcher used qualitative approach as the research method and chose participants through purposive sampling by promoting the study through the internet and friend networks, inviting a total of 8 participants. The data was collected through 18 hours and 45 minutes of face-to-face semi-structured in-depth interviews with each participant. The data was then analyzed using thematic analysis and the research results were obtained to meet the objectives of the study. The research results show: I.The reasons for the unmarried status of 8 participants are “the defects of the parents' marriage,” “unfavorable timing, location and people,” “unstable financial status” and “worrying about the limitations brought by marriage.” Furthermore, the study found: i. Remaining unmarried is not caused by a single reason. ii. The main reason for remaining unmarried is “unfavorable timing, location and people,” with “unfavorable people” being the most significant one. That shows participants, most of whom have a Master's degree, are still unmarried due to having high expectations for themselves or their partners. iii. “The defects of the parents' marriage,” leading to “feeling discouraged after witnessing their parents' marriage” and “not yearning for a marital life” are also indirect causes of being unmarried. II.Most of the 8 participants in the study respond to their families’ expectations of marriage by “avoiding conflict with their parents.” The responses include both “proactive approaches” such as “rational communication” and “striving to meet expectations,” and “passive approaches” such as “not being serious,” “not responding” and “reluctantly complying.” III.Most of the 8 participants in the study hold a rational attitude towards marriage, believing that it is necessary to "establish consensus before talking about marriage," "work hard to make money and get married as soon as possible." If the first two are not met, they can also "have no plan and take things as they come." IV.Most of the 8 participants in the study feel that marriage is not indispensable, and their beliefs in marriage relationships include “optional relationship options,” “replaceable relationship types,” “responsibilities and relationships that restrict desires,” “responsibilities and guarantees certified by laws” and “signed lifelong relationships with trust.” V.However, if the following foundations are present in marital life, the participants still have a positive expectation of marriage. These foundations include: both parties in the marriage being able to be “independent and supportive of each other,” “having an economic foundation because “money makes the heart grow fonder” and being able to reach a mutual understanding because “consensus leads to a harmonious relationship", which helps to stabilize the marriage. VI.The participants in the study express practical views on whether marriage can last long, stating that modern marriages are indeed “tempting and difficult to maintain” and that “the form of marriage is not helpful in maintaining it.” “Protection factors are necessary for marriage to last long,” but if the marriage is “not mutually beneficial, there is no need for it to last long.” VII.The 8 participants in the study continue to experience the entire cultural view of marriage from their families, friends, and surroundings due to their continued unmarried status. These views include the belief that marriage is a “necessary part of life,” that it can provide “care,” that it can “satisfy parents' expectations,” and that the gender roles in marriage should be “the husband should be older and the wife younger in a marriage” with the division of labor being “the husband should be the breadwinner while the wife should take care of household duties.” VIII.The 8 participants in the study believe that the general public still holds biases against middle-aged single individuals, perceiving them as “irresponsible and not committed,” “having problems and flaws,” and “lower-class elderly people and failures.” However, most of the 8 participants have developed proper life adjustments and hold high levels of satisfaction with their own lives.” IX.Due to their status as “eldest sons,” the participants feel the expectations to “continue the family line,” “set an example,” and “care for their family.” At the end of the study, the researcher discusses the results and makes relevant recommendations to unmarried middle-aged first-born men, their parents, mental health professionals, society, schools, and future researchers.

並列關鍵字

unmarried ； middle-aged first-born men ； marital attitude ； Chinese culture

參考文獻

Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469–480. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.5.469

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