定格的記憶－李碧華繪畫創作研究

本論文以筆者2014 年至2016 年間的繪畫創作為論述對象，研究所就讀期間正值父親告別人世之時，創作與論文不僅描述父喪前後的心理變化，也藉由《定格的記憶》來回溯逐漸淡忘的童年，甚至尋根至父母的早期經驗，「記憶」在意識與潛意識之間來回流動，以「定格」凝結意象形成的剎那間，每一段記憶的出現或消隱絕非偶然。筆者透過柏格森的綿延時間觀以及佛洛伊德和榮格對記憶的精神分析建立創作的理論基礎——生命的意義是在追求不斷的自我創造和超越。藉著自動書寫、女性藝術、象徵性、創作形式分析，來探討自己繪畫創作風格形成的來源，並了解個人如何透過創作的行為來進行潛意識的探勘。「不確定狀態」成了筆者檢視自己的感覺形象，回溯的記憶和現實的感知彼此穿梭交融，在不斷的重組、解讀中，重新形塑自己的記憶與認同，也改變繪畫創作的風格。繪畫行動中的偶然與必然在畫面上融合為一，暗示著意識與無意識流動的痕跡、生命的不確定狀態、時間與記憶的綿延。「生命的衝動」自然地譜成自己的韻律，透過藝術創作，我再造了自己。

關鍵字

記憶；定格；綿延；直覺；象徵；不確定性

並列摘要

In this paper, the paintings by the author from 2010 to 2015 are the discoursed objects. While attending the graduate school, the author’s father left the world. Creative works and the paper not only describes psychological changes before and after her father's funeral, but also to recall gradually forgotten childhood with the works exhibition: Freeze-frame Memories. Even the art pieces root to the early experiences of parents. Memories flow back and forth between the consciousness and subconsciousness. “Freeze-frame” instantly coagulates imagery. The rise and vanishment of each segment of the memories are absolutely not coincidence. Through Henri Bergson’s la durée and Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustav Jung’s psychoanalysis of memories, the author built the theoretical basis to the art works. The meaning of life is to continuously self-creation and beyond. By Automatic writing, female art , symbolic , and the analysis of creative forms, the author tried to discuss on the source of the formation of her own painting style , and learn how she get on exploration from subconscious through acts of creation. “Indeterminate State” became the author’s perception to images of sense. Retrospective memories and perception of reality blend with each other. The author re-shaped her own memories and identity in the ongoing restructuring, interpreting status. By this, the author changed her painting style as well. Haphazard and certainty get together as one when the author painted. This implies the trace of the flow of consciousness and unconsciousness, uncertain state of life and the stretch of time and memories. “Impulse of Life” naturally made into the author’s rhythm. Through the art creations, the author rebuilt herself.