母女關係的結與解:一位金門女子的自我敘說

The complex and resolution of mother-daughter relationship: A self-narrative by a Kinmen female

陳玉粉(Yu-Fen Chen)

指導教授 ： 蔡秀玲 ； 譚偉象

中原大學/理學院/心理學研究所/碩士(2013年)

https://doi.org/10.6840/cycu201301095

摘要

回憶小時候的我，盡是被母親拒絕的經驗，對於母親就是無限的害怕及恐懼；現在的我想跟母親靠近，卻靠不近；想跟母親分離卻難以走開，我們處在矛盾、衝突、糾葛當中。
從小時候到現在我與母親的問題依然存在，我仍然無法跟母親有和好的關係，我想藉由敘說故事，看看我與母親過去發生了什麼，現在又怎麼了，最主要想修復母女的關係。
經由生命故事的自我敘說後，看見我承傳母親對人及對己的要求，也看見母親及家庭的脈絡，更看見自己成長的軌跡，也漸漸地分辨出我與母親各自不同的個體及想法；敘說過程中更讓我體會出家人及人與人之間的支持、肯定與扶持；內在裡我們是一體共存的生命體，卻各自長成不同的個體，這帶給我往後與人接觸及諮商生涯依憑的基礎及滋養，這是我的故事、也是我與母親的故事、更是我們家庭的故事；也可以說一個在金門戰地脈絡生活的家庭故事、一個女子自立自強的故事。

關鍵字

生命故事 ； 金門婦女 ； 母女關係 ； 自我敘說

並列摘要

Since I was little, as I could recall, I had been rejected by my mother all the time. The feeling toward my mother is endless fear and terror. Now, as a grown up, I want to be close to her, but I can’t get near. I want to leave her, but I keep turning back. We are in a relationship full of constant conflict, twist and fight.
The problem remains. I can’t get along with my mother. I wish I could, with the help of therapy, find out what had happened in my childhood and what is happening now. I am eager to mend the mother-daughter relationship.
By self-narrative of my life story, I learned that I inherited self-requirements and also requirements for others from my mother. Also, I behold the context of my mother and my family together with my growth trajectory. Gradually, I come to realize that my mother and I are two individual and independent ones. During the process of narrative, I re-experience the support and affirmation among the family members, we are entangled with each other, on the other hand, we are leading our own life separately. My family is the foundation of nurturance, the resource of my life skills, and the pavement of my counseling career. This is my story, a mother-daughter story, a vivid description of my family at the battlefield Kinmen, also; the independence story of an ordinary Kinmenwoman.

並列關鍵字

life story ； kinmen female ； mother-daughter relationship ； self-narrative

參考文獻

丁興祥(2008)。生命史及心理傳記：接續與開展。應用心理研究，39期，13-16。

王文玫(2008)。剪斷肚臍帶，要做大人樣：一位客家女性生命處境中的「困」與「尋」。應用心理研究，39期，121-164。

朱儀羚等（譯）(2004)。敘事心理與研究－自我、創傷與意義的建構。嘉義市：濤石文化。Crossley M.L.（2000). Introducing narrative psychology: self, trauma, and the construction of meaning。

冷蔚(譯)(2012)。停下來，才能看見。台北市：天下遠見。慧敏法師(2012). The things we can see only after we stop。

周志建(2002)。敘事治療的理解與實踐－以一個諮商個案為例之敘說研究。國立台灣師範大學教育心理與輔導研究所碩士論文，未出版，台北。