撥游於「陰性空間」的妊娠紀錄

Floating in the "Chora" - A Remark on Pregnancy

謝鴻均(Juin Shieh)

《新竹師院學報》 18期 (2004/06) Pp. 413-436

https://doi.org/10.7044/JNHCTC.200406.0413

摘要

「陰性空間(chora，maternalspace)充斥著曖昧、混沌、無以言說、神漾與狂喜柏拉圖曾用以解釋不可名狀「如子宮般」的玄化空間。克莉斯蒂娃(JuliaKristeva)認為這是母親與孩子共享的身體空間，對於陽性象徵界所標榜的理性、穩定、連貫與邏輯是一種威脅o克氏借用陰性空間的概念，以探索發言主體與象徵系統之間的驅力關係；我用這個驅力來紀錄及描繪與女兒丁原好的邂逅空間。
2002年二月明白自己體內進駐了一個生命體後，對於這個神祕的空間衍生了一個與它共存的使命感，我試從「陰性空間」的探究中，認識小生命與母體的能量互動，並進而將知性與感性的過程紀錄在創作裡。任振期間，我經常對著肚裡世界思索，那是個什麼樣的空間?是但了在《神曲》中所擬槽的遁世領域?是時下遭遇困頓的人所逃避的虛擬網路空間?什麼樣的精靈能夠進駐在其中?這些問題和米開朗基羅四百年前對著佑大石材問道:「是什麼樣的生命在裡頭等待著我的解放?」同出一轍嗎?直到有一天肚中的這個世界開始出現明顯的動靜，有時是溫和的掃動，有時是個強的對峙，有時是耍個性的踢逗挑釁，我以包容的身心去聆聽、觸摸與捉押，似乎能夠感應到一縷混沌的「宮績」正在呼應著。
對佛洛依德(SigmundFreud)和拉岡(JacqueLacan)來說，這曲宮籍也許是尚未被說出的語言符號及意義型態，其超越陽物的特質，乃屬肉體的女性神漾(feminintjouissance)，是在進入象徵系統之前的一種無語的狀態，由各種慾望衝動交錯橫越或牽引。然而對克莉斯蒂娃來說，它確是一種「創作衝動的未知地帶」本義為子宮，是母親孕育命，包容能量的空間，其中只有聲音或是律動的節奏才能呈現這種存在狀態。從依蕊格萊(LuceIrigaray)的立場，這樣的陰性文脈可用「內視鏡」來檢視，並用後解構的策略將真理、上帝、超越、陽真、象徵性秩序排除，以凸顯陰性「他者」的潛意識層面及其液態的認知價值。屬於陰性的「匱乏(缺席)性空間」在越過了陽性思維後，會受到了前所未有的推崇與擁護。對西蘇(HélèneCixous)來說，這是一部用「白色墨水」所撰寫，無法中斷、滔滔不絕、且不需文法的「陰性書寫J‘自由自在地流動的文字令人癡醉情迷。
這一時期女性神漾般的肉身體驗，引領著我在創作止親臨過去曾嘗試探索，但並不純然落實的議題一一即超越既存的象徵系統與文本的可能性。在任振必經的歷程中，我經常以靜坐的方式來觸尋體內生命的活動環境、空間、媒介、潤滑、運行等等，以這些現世界能夠理解的行為思考，組合出一種被寄生的外來感，而此寄生體則時時與主體保持息息相連和相互牽繫的關係，此曖昧混沌之經驗，唯藉著「宮績」的溝通，才有可能在視覺語彙中，貼近「清晰」狀態。在反反覆覆的溝通中，許多形象與目的都會一一出走於它們原本所附與的認知，自我顛覆，並再度從顛覆中重新發音。這令我經常處流連於「未完成」的游離狀態o
如今女兒丁原好已順利離開了進駐九個月的「陰性空間J‘回首這段時期由思考、研究、肉體經驗與繪畫所交織而成的曲目，深覺女性特質的珍貴與獨特，即在於能夠從這一趟「陰性空間」之旅，經驗屬於女性特有的創作空間。

關鍵字

網路空間 ； 陰性空間 ； 陰性書寫 ； 克利斯蒂娃 ； 依蕊格萊 ； 西蘇 ； 內視鏡 ； 女性神漾

並列摘要

The “chora” (maternal space) is full of ambiguity, chaos, the unspoken, feminine jouissance, and ecstasy. Plato used it to explain the indescribable mysterious feminine principle that was “like a womb.” Julia Kristeva feels that this is a body space shared by a mother and her children, and considers it to be a threat to the masculine symbolic world, which promotes rationality, stability, coherence, and logic. Kristeva borrows the chora concept to explore the driving relationship between the speaking subject and the symbolic system. I use this driving force to record and describe the unexpected space I share with my daughter, Yuan-Hao Ting.
After finding out in February 2002 that another living being had entered my body, I gained a sense of mission concerning this mysterious space. I have tried to learn about the interacting energy between the emerging life and its mother’s body in my explorations of the “ehora,” and record the mental and perceptual process in my art. I often pondered the world with my belly while pregnant, and wondered what kind of space it was. Was it the secluded realm that Dante constructed in his “Divine Comedy”? Was it a virtual cyberspace to which people flee when they become exhausted? What kind of pixy could enter there? Were not these questions the same as when, four hundred years ago, Michelangelo asked of a big piece of stone,“What life is waiting within for me to liberate it?” I asked these questions right up to the moment that the world within my belly began to make obvious movements. Sometimes it felt like gentle wiggling, sometimes like stubborn confrontation, and sometimes like teasing provocation. I tried to be tolerant as I listened, felt, and teased. I felt that I could sense a chaotic “divine music” responding to me.
Sigmund Freud and Jacque Lacan might have felt that this divine music was a yet unspoken linguistics symbol and form of meaning, and its phallus-transcending characteristics belonged to the feminine jouissance of the body. It was an unsaid state that had not yet entered a symbolic system, and was composed or led by the intersection of all kinds of impulses and desires. But to Kristeva, the sound is indeed a “yet unknown region of creative impulse.” Her meaning is the womb, the mother’s nurturing life, and space containing energy, in which only sound or rhythm can manifest this state of existence. From the point of view of Luce Irigaray, this feminine context can be examined using a “speculum,” and after using it the deconstruction strategy of eliminating principle, God, transcendence, the phallus, and symbolic order highlights the subconscious level of the feminine “Other” and its fluid cognitive values. After transcending masculine thinking, the feminine deficient (absent) space will receive unprecedented respect and acceptance. To H?1?ne Cixous, this IS an “?criture f?minine” written in “white ink”; it cannot be interrupted, it is endless, and it doesn’t need grammar. Its freely flowing text makes people feel blissfully intoxicated.
The physical experience of this period, like a kind of feminine jouissance, led me to approach an issue that I had tried to explore in the past, but certainly had not truly realized: the possibility of transcending existent symbolic systems and texts. During the inexorable course of pregnancy, I often sat in still contemplation and probed the living environment, space, medium, sleekness, and action within me. I assembled these behaviors and thoughts intelligible to the real world into the alien sensation of being pasitized. For its pt, the parasitic entity kept up an intimate connection and mutually bound relationship with the subject. This ambiguous, chaotic experience was communicated solely through the “divine music,” which was the only way that it could approach a state of “clarity” in visual language. In the repetitive process of communication, many images and goals variously came out into the cognition to which they were originally attached, subverted the self, and again gave voice from this subversion. This often prompted me to linger in an “incomplete” free state.
My daughter Yuan-Hao Ting afterwards left the “chora” where she had dwelt for nine months. When I recall the tune that I composed during that period of time through thought, research, physical experience, and painting, I feel a profound sense of the uniqueness and value of women’s characteristics. They can experience a distinctive creative space unique to women in this journey of the“chora”.

並列關鍵字

cyberspace ； choTa (maternal space) ； écriture féminine ； Julia Kristeva ； Luce Irigaray ； Hélène Cixous ； speculum ； feminine jouissance

參考文獻

Carol S. Pearson、徐慎恕、朱侃如、龔卓軍譯(2000)。內在英雄。立緒。

Jo Anna Isaak著、陳淑珍譯、吳介禎審訂(2000)。女性笑聲的革命性力量。遠流。

John Berger、戴行絨譯(1993)。藝術觀賞之道。商務。

Judy Chicago、陳宓娟譯(1997)。穿越花朵。遠流。

Margaret Wertheim著、薛絢譯(1999)。空間地圖。商務。