本文試圖彰顯余德慧老師在台灣人文臨床研究中對存有倫理的現象學詮釋,以及在散文修辭上獨具一格的表述美感,並且依循此種雙軌文類寫作範式,探討「思念」如何通過敘說主體「活著的生命感」的經驗敘說,開展獨特的「生存美學」論述。本文一方面表達思念的遇望如何提領出拉岡式存在匱乏與欲望引力,依此朝往生命存有的缺口予以發展,以及最終有關生活經驗的啟蒙認識。於是,本文透過思念作為「生存形式」、「遇望」和「缺口」等三段進程,分別或是交錯呼應余德慧老師的「沈默皺摺」、「不見之遇」、「拉岡式精神動力」等主題論述。另一方面又以普魯斯特《追憶逝水年華》中有關「瑪德萊娜的狂喜」作為並置理解,企圖再現余德慧的「偶然遭逢」、「慾望消亡」和「臨界處境」等存有概念。
The article was previously written and presented in The Conference for the Cultivation in the Age of Desolation: In Memory of Prof. Yee, Der-heuy (1951-2012). Drawing Dr. Der-heuy Yee on his phenomenological interpretations in Taiwan's humanities-clinical studies and on his prominent writing and rhetoric, this article following Yee's unique route of double genres discusses how ”the encountering of yearning desire” deliberates an ethic-aesthetics of Being, by means of the lived experiences of narrative subjects. This essay thereby on the one hand presents a Lacanian theory on the dynamics of lack/desire, which attempts to manifest the conceptualization of Yee's clinical researches. This essay on the other hand employs Marcel Proust's work of ”The Remembrance of Things Past” (À la recherche du temps perdu), with which it then juxtaposes Yee's various literary discourses on the Benjaminian involuntariness.