如實面對－成為助人工作者的追尋之旅

本研究採自我敘說方式敘述研究者個人的生命故事，作為研究者的自我追尋歷程。故事主軸探討研究者在經歷生命中重大事件與創傷後的「生存之道與追尋之旅」。故事三大支線為「母親的寶貝大女兒」、「家中的暴力與國中時期的痛苦」、「疾病的出現與積極尋找解答的學習過程」。故事涵蓋的多元自我包含：天真我、制約我、助人我、正義我、防衛我、譏諷我、本能我、疾病我與成熟我。故事文本主要呈現研究者的兩大自我「本能我」和「制約我」之間的衝突與對抗，再從兩大自我分別延伸出助人我、正義我、防衛我、譏諷我、疾病我與成熟我。歷經多元自我間的轉化、對話和衝突對抗，研究者發現不同自我在不同時期皆有重要的功能作用，而「助人成熟我」乃整合所有自我為滋養，認出「疾病我」的善意與創造力，使「本能我」和「制約我」停止對抗，開始相互合作、發揮各自所長，帶領研究者走出屬於自己的助人之道。

關鍵字

自我敘說；創傷；多元自我

並列摘要

This self-narrative study took a very personal view to describe how she has gotten started on becoming a helper after several life-changing incidents and traumas. This journey of becoming a better helper is also served as the healing and integration process for the researcher herself. There are three branch lines of the story, which are "mom’s baby girl", "suffering from domestic violence and school bully", and "the journey of searching for remedy and healing for my illness". 　　This study reveals the conflicts between “the prime self” and “the conditioned self,” and how other selves derived from them, such as “the helper self”, “the vigilante self”, “the guarding self”, “the sarcastic self, “ the “sick-person self”, and “the mature self.” After having so many conflicts, struggles and understanding of those selves, researcher realizes that how different selves serves as a protecting role at different stage of difficult times. And it is how “the good-helper self” is nourished from the total essences of those multiple selves. Researcher finally sees the kindness and creativity of “the sick-person self, ” how she manages to stop the fight between the prime self and the conditioned self, and better yet, to make the researcher in becoming a wounded healer-helping others in her unique way.