本文旨在探索台灣民間喪葬習俗與佛教淨土宗念佛往生,以及它們的典故,因為作者執行研究計畫而接觸的九二一震災哀慟父母,極可能因宗教信仰民俗而不敢哭泣、不敢想念孩子、不敢碰觸孩子的遺體,這些禁忌似乎壓抑了哀慟者的哀傷。本文的另一目的是探討受到西方諮商與哀傷專業養成的哀傷治療者,在面對西方專業養成與受台灣宗教民俗影響的哀慟者時,自己所應面對的重要課題。 經由本文的探索,台灣民間的喪葬習俗似乎以某些時間點或儀式為界,允許遺族在之前或之後得以哀哭,但不可碰觸遺體,然而佛教淨土的概念則全然禁止,尤其在逝者神識脫離肉體後到七七四十九天之間。 由於喪親經驗之獨特性,哀傷治療者與哀慟者實有若干相同之處,作者主張從這些「同」出發,治療者藉由易地而處,以哀慟者的立場感同身受,以及進行不斷的自我反思,隨時準備自己成為一位「正確的人」,以能夠敏覺到哀慟者自然流露的哀傷,並進入其內心去聆聽他的哀傷。這份聆聽需要是全人的、放空自己的,跟著哀慟者的心理頻率去體解他的哀傷。同時,本文亦初步提到哀慟者似能從自己的生命經驗中獲得力量,協助自己持續喪兒之後的生命。
This article aims to preliminarily explore the origins of religious beliefs in the Pure-Land sect of Chinese Buddhism and of mourning rituals in that both seem to suppress bereaved parents' grief in Taiwan. Children of these bereaved parents died out of the 1999 Taiwan Earthquake. With mourning rituals concerned, the bereaved are allowed to grieve for their deceased child but not to touch him or her in any format. From the aspect of the Pure-Land sect of Chinese Buddhism, no grief could be expressed during and 49 days after the death. Grief therapists, when encountering the opposing forces between bereaved parents' beliefs affecting their grief and professional training deriving from Western societies, are suggested to become the right persons who listen to the bereaved with a completely vacant mind. Deep inside the bereaved parents' mind, there seems to have living energy that possibly continues and heals their lives without the beloved.