女性婚外情與自我概念變化之現象探究

The Phenomenon of Women's Extramarital affairs and the Change of Self-concept

曾惟靈(Wai-Ling Tseng)

指導教授 ： 吳怡珍

國立清華大學/竹師教育學院/教育心理與諮商學系/碩士(2022年)

摘要

本研究旨在探討已婚女性於婚外情中的經驗，並闡述婚外情過程中如何產生不同面向的自我，以及在婚外情關係結束後，對自我又如何建立全新的認識與看見。研究者採深度訪談法總共訪談四位受訪者並獲取文本，使用高淑清（2008）提及的主題分析法，歸納出已婚女性的婚外情歷程以及過程中自我概念變化兩大區塊。研究結果如下：
第一部分描述女性的婚姻與婚外情現象並歸納為三個共同主題：（一）婚姻中的美麗與哀愁、夢想與幻滅。透過與原生家庭及理想伴侶的互動建構起女性對婚姻的想像與期待。進入婚姻之後，現實生活的議題與一觸即發的婚姻危機，令女性的童話美夢幻滅。（二）美麗的第三角邂逅：不在乎天長地久，只在乎曾經擁有。受婚外情對象的吸引，女性體驗到被追求與寵愛的甜蜜，從中覺察對親密關係的價值觀及渴望。（三）短暫情緣的斷捨離。隨著婚外情事的曝光及夫妻關係的破壞，女性被迫面對關係中的根本問題並做出抉擇。
第二部分為婚外情歷程中自我概念的變化並歸納為五個主題：（一）自我概念的形塑期。研究發現已婚女性的自我是從婚前個體自我及婚後他人期待的自我建構而成。（二）婚前與婚後的自我概念混淆期。婚姻中的理想自我與真實自我，以及妻子角色與個體自我之間的差異，造成期待與現實中自我概念的斷裂。（三）婚外情中的自我探索期。婚外情經驗擴充女性對自我的認識，女性因情感的豐盈而對外表更有自信、更具自我價值，進而長出突破困境與限制的勇氣及行動力。（四）婚外情對自我的衝擊。女性遭受大眾對婚外情的污名而歷經自我批判，及對母親或妻子角色的認同而撼動自我概念。（五）婚外情風暴後，發展出更增能及完整的自我概念。婚外關係結束後，女性將過去及婚外情中新長成的自我予以融合。不再深陷道德的束縛而停滯不前，反而因婚外情的獨特經驗而形成更勇於挑戰的自我，甚至與婚外情對象以新的角色或關係達到自我實現。
最後，本研究提出相關結論。婚外情關係中的女性如果能確立深層的身心需求，甚至讓原本的自我得以賦能，將使婚外關係對其自我概念的發展發揮更大的助益。藉由婚外情關係，女性可從中確立深層的身心需求，甚至讓婚前的自我得以賦能。社會污名對女性的自我概念造成挑戰與衝突，但不會影響女性是否選擇進入婚外關係。但如果社會污名能有所改善，則經歷婚外情經驗的女性將能減少自我概念發展的阻礙，這將有利於女性自我概念的正向發展。

關鍵字

婚外情 ； 自我概念 ； 女性

並列摘要

This research aims to explore the experience of married women in infidelity, and explain how different aspects of the self are produced in the process of infidelity, and how to establish a new understanding and perception of self after the end of the extramarital affairs . The researcher used the in-depth interview method to interview a total of four interviewees and obtain the text. Using the subjective analysis method mentioned by Shu-Cing Gao (2008), the researcher concluded two major areas of married women's infidelity and changes in self-concept during the process.
The results of the study are as follows:
The first part describes women's marriage and infidelity and summarizes them into three common themes: (1) The beauty and sorrow, dreams and disillusionment in marriage. Through the interaction with the family of origin and ideal partner, women's imagination and expectation of marriage are constructed. After entering marriage, real-life issues and the imminent marital crisis have extinguished the beauty of women's fairy tales. (2) The beautiful encounter: It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Attracted by the objects of infidelity, women experience the sweetness of being pursued and beloved, and perceive their values and desires for intimacy. (3) The break of short-term love. With the exposure of extramarital affairs and the destruction of husband and wife relationships, women are forced to face the fundamental problems in the relationship and make choices.
The second part is the change of self-concept in the reason of extramarital affairs and summarized into five themes: (1) The shaping period of self-concept. Result have found that the self of married women is constructed from the individual self before marriage and the expected self of the post-marital role. (2) The confusion period of self-concept before and after marriage. The difference between the ideal self and the real self in marriage, as well as the difference between the role of the wife and the individual self, causes a break in the self-concept in reality and expectation. (3) The self-exploration period in extramarital affairs. The experience of extramarital affairs expands women's knowledge of themselves. Women are more confident and self-worthy because of the abundance of love, and then develop the courage and ability to break through difficulties and restrictions. (4) The impact of infidelity on self. Women suffer from the public's stigma of infidelity and undergo self-criticism, and their identification with the role of mother or wife shakes their self-concepts. (5) After the storm of extramarital affairs, women develop a more empowered and complete self-concept. Instead of being stuck in moral fetters and stagnating, due to the unique experience of infidelity, they formed a stronger sf when facing challenge. They even achieved self-realization during new roles or relationships with the partner of extramarital affairs .
Finally, this study puts forward relevant conclusions. If women in extramarital relationships can embrace deep physical and mental needs, and even empower their original self, the extramarital relationship will play a greater role in the development of their self-concepts. Through extramarital relationships, women can meet physical and mental needs, and even empower their pre-marital self. Social stigma poses challenges and conflicts to women's self-concepts, but it does not affect whether women choose to enter an extramarital relationship. However, if social stigma can be left, it can reduce the obstacles to women's self-concept development, which will be conducive to the positive development of women's self-concept.

並列關鍵字

extramarital affairs ； self-concept ； women

參考文獻

胡幼慧（1991）。性別、社會角色與憂鬱症狀。婦女與兩性學刊，2，1-18。

黃囇莉（2001）。身心違常：女性自我在父權結構網中的「迷」途。本土心理學研究，15，3-62。

一、中文部分

于而彥（譯）（1996）。外遇情感出軌的真實告白（原作者：Morton Hunt）。臺北市：張老師。（原著出版年：1996）

王世哲（1999）。男性情欲研究－以中年已婚男性為例。國立高雄師範大學成人教育研究所碩士論文，未出版，高雄市。